KwanYingirl
Diamond Member
Yes. Many times. Therapy is a process and as time goes on it will get easier for you to speak your mind
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Feel Like Therapy Helps But Too Painful To Wait For Next Session
- Post starter Bird33
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falling_wave
Platinum Member
Recently since it's not every week the thought has crossed my mind but I would never actually do it. It's just because the days before I see her the week I know I will be seeing her builds up my anxiety/anticipation and the other week is pretty okay. I've though maybe it's time but I thinks it's just adjusting to the new schedule and I wouldn't be fine all the time if I quit all the way. Just so you know it's super normal to get attached even if you have other people. You are becoming emotionally vulnerable with someone and they are 100% invested in you during the hour. Where else would you find that?
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- #15
theshadowoftheliving
Diamond Member
For me, it always has felt easier to quit than to deal with the in-between (which is so, so hard). I think it isn't about attachment, etc for me: it is about avoidance.When I'm not in therapy at all, I'm just avoiding the issues. Being in therapy stirs things up, brings things to the surface, and then it is all I can do to contain the concurrent emotions between sessions.
I can totally relate to this. I live for my session with my T each week. I have my sessions each thurs and they have become my most favourite day of the week but once the session is over it is incredibly hard to think I have to wait another whole week to see her again. I feel so comfortable with her and she makes me feel safe and she is warm and kind. I am not used to having such a bond and attachment to someone and it is really hard.
Yes at times I just think it would be so much easier to give it up so I don't have these feelings that are hard to deal with. But I don't know how I would cope with life if I didn't have my T. It is so so hard :(
Yes at times I just think it would be so much easier to give it up so I don't have these feelings that are hard to deal with. But I don't know how I would cope with life if I didn't have my T. It is so so hard :(
Yes I think that is a normal feeling for many, when I start to feel really dependant on therapy to get through the week I start feeling panicky, pull back, and push away. For me depending on someone else to support me is terrifying.
I am just starting the first week in a seven week break, and I am trying not to think about it, because it just increases my anxiety.
I try to remember as I grow stronger I will naturally not require the support I now need, because I will have put in place better support systems.
I am just starting the first week in a seven week break, and I am trying not to think about it, because it just increases my anxiety.
I try to remember as I grow stronger I will naturally not require the support I now need, because I will have put in place better support systems.
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- #19
Yes I think for me that is part of the problem. Things come up in therapy and you talk about them and then okay now you have to just deal with it until the next time.
I also hate the feelings of dependence. But how long does it take to not feel this way anymore? Does anyone stop feeling this way? It seems like no one ever gets over this.
I also hate the feelings of dependence. But how long does it take to not feel this way anymore? Does anyone stop feeling this way? It seems like no one ever gets over this.
barefoot
Diamond Member
Yes, I feel similarly. Well...I feel the difficulty between sessions, but I haven't considered quitting because of them.
I find that as soon as I'm out her door and on my way home I start to think 'oh no, I have to wait another week before I see her again.' And I generally count the days every until my next session. I used to be a bit worried about it because it felt like I was being too attached/dependent/needy. It felt almost obsessive to think about therapy/my therapist so much. A year on, I've just sort of accepted it - but that doesn't mean it feels great, because I don't like the intensity of it. It feels almost like I'm pining for her - a real sense of deep yearning to see her. And that makes me feel a bit mortified. But I also think it makes sense - she really holds space for me with total compassion, patience and full attention and she's non-judgmental. What's not to like, I suppose?! :-)
Like some others have said, for me it's also a lot to do with things getting stirred up in session and then being left with it all to deal with on my own. I find it difficult to connect to my feelings during sessions so what tends to happen is that I'm very calm, composed and mostly pretty buoyant in sessions. Then, after session, there's always a bit of a shitstorm as I start to process difficult feelings - they're feelings I don't feel during session, they just hit me like a tsunami afterwards. It's something we're working on - she'd rather I connect emotionally and experience the feelings when I'm with her so that I can explore and process stuff when I'm in a safe space with her as opposed to leaving her feeling fine then getting overwhelmed with difficult stuff and getting I'm a bit of a state! I wonder if a similar thing happens for you?
I find that as soon as I'm out her door and on my way home I start to think 'oh no, I have to wait another week before I see her again.' And I generally count the days every until my next session. I used to be a bit worried about it because it felt like I was being too attached/dependent/needy. It felt almost obsessive to think about therapy/my therapist so much. A year on, I've just sort of accepted it - but that doesn't mean it feels great, because I don't like the intensity of it. It feels almost like I'm pining for her - a real sense of deep yearning to see her. And that makes me feel a bit mortified. But I also think it makes sense - she really holds space for me with total compassion, patience and full attention and she's non-judgmental. What's not to like, I suppose?! :-)
Like some others have said, for me it's also a lot to do with things getting stirred up in session and then being left with it all to deal with on my own. I find it difficult to connect to my feelings during sessions so what tends to happen is that I'm very calm, composed and mostly pretty buoyant in sessions. Then, after session, there's always a bit of a shitstorm as I start to process difficult feelings - they're feelings I don't feel during session, they just hit me like a tsunami afterwards. It's something we're working on - she'd rather I connect emotionally and experience the feelings when I'm with her so that I can explore and process stuff when I'm in a safe space with her as opposed to leaving her feeling fine then getting overwhelmed with difficult stuff and getting I'm a bit of a state! I wonder if a similar thing happens for you?
falling_wave
Platinum Member
But how long does it take to not feel this way anymore? Does anyone stop feeling this way? It seems like no one ever gets over this.
Everyone is different but for me I think it goes away when you have other strong supports in your life and when you start going long periods of time without seeing them. That's my experience anyway. My T always talks about she thinks I'll feel better when I'm in a relationship. And I still very much miss her but when I'm on a long stretch without her sometimes the intensity is actually less. Not worth it though. I'd rather continue.
Everyone is different but for me I think it goes away when you have other strong supports in your life and when you start going long periods of time without seeing them. That's my experience anyway. My T always talks about she thinks I'll feel better when I'm in a relationship. And I still very much miss her but when I'm on a long stretch without her sometimes the intensity is actually less. Not worth it though. I'd rather continue.
barefoot
Diamond Member
Yes, I think I've experienced this too...if I've had a longer break, say for going on holiday or for over Christmas or whatever, I don't think it's worse to wait the extra time...perhaps the habit of the week in week out cycle does make for a more intense experience between sessions?
barefoot
Diamond Member
As an extra thought - I used to dissociate a lot during sessions and often found it difficult to speak, even when I wasn't dissociating. The last couple of months I've been much more present - not dissociating and not 'losing my voice' anywhere near as much.
So up until a couple of months ago, I think part of the challenge of having to get through the week before my next session was my frustration at myself for 'wasting' a session. Because if I'd dissociated for a big chunk of time or if I'd gone mute (especially if I hadn't been able to say things I'd really wanted to say that session) I knew I had to wait a whole week before I got the chance to have another go at it. Thankfully, that's one factor that seems to be out of the mix at the moment. It's still tough though.
So up until a couple of months ago, I think part of the challenge of having to get through the week before my next session was my frustration at myself for 'wasting' a session. Because if I'd dissociated for a big chunk of time or if I'd gone mute (especially if I hadn't been able to say things I'd really wanted to say that session) I knew I had to wait a whole week before I got the chance to have another go at it. Thankfully, that's one factor that seems to be out of the mix at the moment. It's still tough though.
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- #24
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