Feel Like Therapy Helps But Too Painful To Wait For Next Session

[The Albatross]

i do feel badly at times too about that. I am actually a therapist too, I really enjoy helping people and don't feel it is a burden so I can see it from both directions.

I find it immensely interesting that you are finding the therapeutic process so difficult to manage since you are a therapist. Can you extend some of the empathy you give/extend to your clients to yourself?

I find this pretty perplexing.

You/we either subscribe to the therapeutic model or we don't.

 

[Tinyflame]

I really feel for people and I think I can truly understand. Do you?

Yes I really feel for people & yes I am too sensitive. I usually know what is the 'right' response for someone (needs), even if it's counter to my benefit. But that is the 'right' thing to do/ respond with, so doing what is wrong wouldn't be worth it, I would not feel good about it. Good professionally, but I guess it leaves personal relationships pretty empty & hollow. Do I understand? Well I hope so, far as it is possible for 2 different people can, I ask & hope they tell me.

You/we either subscribe to the therapeutic model or we don't.. I find this pretty perplexing.

Must say I don't quite understand either. Forgive me if I'm wrong, but somewhere I thought you wrote that (paraphrasing) that the tenet that 'we remember or breakdown when things are safer', you weren't quite sure if you agreed with? :confused:

I don't know though, I'm not a T & T's are just human too. I don't find it odd a T should need a T, I don't understand why a T would ask 'us' what they know more about than the majority of us do. (Sorry, I don't mean to offend.)

 

[Bird33]

@The Albatross I find it easy to help others and have always been able to separate my feelings. I thought I had dealt with the trauma from my past long ago. Things have recently come up and I began seeing a therapist. It is so much different being on the other side. i obviously subscribe to the therapeutic model. I am just finding it difficult needing help when I am usually the one giving it. Sorry it is perplexing.

@Junebug I am not offended. Believe me I am having a difficult time understanding it myself. I was just looking for others that would understand everything fully. I do not talk about anything with my friends because I my position. Maybe I should not have said anything here either. I just think it is easy for everyone to listen and helps others than it is to help ourselves.

 

[The Albatross]

Perhaps the new circumstances will lead to a more beneficial process for both you and your clients. I lost an uncle to alcoholism because he was "too smart " (an academic professional) to embrace the process of recovery and sobriety... don't give up on yourself and discontinue your own treatment because you can't square it up?

 

[Bird33]

@The Albatross thank you. I think in the end it will be beneficial for my clients and myself. I won't give up I am just having a difficult time and was reaching out to see how other people dealt with it. I am stretching out of my comfort zone everyday :)) new experiences are a great way to learn.

 

[The Albatross]

I think typically in terms of framework... what is" generally beneficial" (we are after all what we focus on no?)... expressing discomfiture with therapy is one thing... I think I want to quit is another thing all together. Can you frame your potential progress in the context of broadened or more expansive/empathetic helpfulness to your own clients... sometimes something like that (not that I'm a shrink... I'm just at home elder care) can make/assist me with the extra "ommph" to be more than the sum of my parts?

 

[The Albatross]

How I dealt with it was... he had many clients, I was one. He gave me what to work on in between sessions and that was my job even if that meant learning how to "hold" uncomfortability between sessions. Since I'd done considerable work with others, it was not a far stretch to see that the compassion I extended to others, I needed to learn how to hold/tolerate... in myself/with myself. I hope you find that. It is hard won but worth it.

 

[falling_wave]

I don't understand why a T would ask 'us' what they know more about than the majority of us do.

I think expertise and relational experience are two very different things that when integrated can be very beneficial. That saying I completely understand why you would ask 'us'. I'm in training to be a therapist as well. I believe it is my true calling and I've heard from instructors, friends, and clients from other settings that this is the right place for me. That said I experience emotions just like the rest of us and I am not perfect nor do I claim to be. I actually think that's a strength as long as it is acknowledged and worked on. I've been in therapy for a while now and I can experience the strong feelings and attachments like everyone else. I have friends in the profession that have never had therapy and they will be in supervision talking about a case where that is clearly going on but yet they can't see it. It's shocking to me sometimes because it seems so obvious but I can't judge because they have never been there and it's harder to pick up the signs. I can relate deeply with some people because I'm very in tune with the small signs if multiple experiences. Keep posting because it will take the fear and uniqueness out of the experience and I'm sure it will help your work with clients.

 

[falling_wave]

Also, training to become a therapist teaches how to be therapeutic with the information we get from clients and to have tools to explore new areas that might bring it out. It doesn't teach us to identify what we don't know in the client or what the experience is like for them. That's why as a therapist getting hours for licensure they give 2 for 1 hours of credit if you do personal therapy. That right there tells you how important that experience is.

 

[Tinyflame]

am just finding it difficult needing help when I am usually the one giving it. Sorry it is perplexing.

No, I totally understand that part & the professional conundrum. And trauma is like an onion, layers upon layers, needing to be revisited.

Maybe I should not have said anything here either. I just think it is easy for everyone to listen and helps others than it is to help ourselves.

No, by all means seek out the support. (You see I knew I shouldn't have voiced the question!) You deserve it. :hug: I'm sure it will only enable you to be even more profoundly helpful, & you sound like you are already, as The Albatross said:

Perhaps the new circumstances will lead to a more beneficial process for both you and your clients.

think expertise and relational experience are two very different things that when integrated can be very beneficial... Also, training to become a therapist.. doesn't teach us to identify what we don't know in the client or what the experience is like for them.

I agree with the former @falling_wave but am mortified by the latter. The relatively little psych I took emphasized the opposite. More importantly, I would never guide, advise or even speak to someone on anything I had no experience relationally. I would ask them to teach me. I think of the term, "a little knowledge is dangerous', & to me even if I had 10 degrees I would feel it would be 'little' in relation to that other person's world, history, experiences, beliefs, thoughts & values. (And I think of a Prof saying, "things you will learn will be found to be untrue/ inaccurate", just as he was taught Autism was the result of 'cool & aloof parenting'. :( ) How can anyone understand if they don't learn from those they treat? I just don't understand that at all. Those T's sound like they'd make good Accountants. :( That's frightening, in terms of finding a half-decent T.

Best wishes & healing to & for you both.

 

[falling_wave]

How can anyone understand if they don't learn from those they treat?

I did not say and certainly don't believe that we don't learn from those we treat. We do that everyday. What I did say was that our training can teach us to be sensitive of emotional experiences in the client and to identify the main signs but cannot give us a "from the other side of the couch" experience. Academia just doesn't provide that. We need to go out and learn that on our own.

Also can you think of times when you have assumed someone is acting a certain way and then down the road you learn it was something else entirely? Well, it's the same with therapists. If their education and experience makes them think that you are having anxiety in session because of the family situation you are dealing with and talking about then they will respond as such. Maybe you aren't all that concerned about the family situation. You are thinking it's almost the end of session and she's going on vacation. I'm so worried I won't be able to cope. Your T won't know unless she has experienced that and can sense it in the slightest of ways and relates. If we share it that will help as therapists aren't mind readers. In time the therapist will become more intuitive if we are open most of the time about what is going on. Some people are naturally more intuitive than others but grad school doesn't create that in us. Also, I think a lot of people don't think therapists struggle but why would they? Therapists disclose minimally if at all and should be professional and competant in their work. They are under no obligation to give up all rights to their own struggles and histories and they can be just as effective if they have good self awareness and do not ignore issues.

Also the example about a co-worker not recognizing something in a client was resolved. We brought it up in supervision because others did have that experience and now she knows. That's the point of supervision as none of us can be familiar with everything.

 

[Bird33]

@The Albatross I think both those points are very helpful and I will use them going forward. Thank you.
@falling_wave the experiences I went through in my life brought me to where I am today. I do what I do because of my experiences and I feel I do my job well because of my experiences. Currently I am trying to make sure I continue to do my job well. I am always trying to learn and I found this site and figured it was a good place to be. Thank you for the support and I hope I can be of some help too.
@Junebug no I am glad you spoke your mind. Honesty is the only way. We need to be true to ourselves. Thank you so much for the encouragement and support.