Sexual Assault When Does The Pain Go Away?

[jasmineaila]

I was raped over half a year ago now... At first I was in denial, I didnt want to accept what had happened. he was like a best friend to me and he emotionally abused me, and raped me. He played with my feelings and used me to get what he wanted and by the time i realized that, it was too late and i was already broken. I had lost my virginity to him, trusted him, told him everything and he just ripped my world apart. i couldnt look in the mirror for a while because i felt so ugly and stupid. I felt like rubbish that had just been walked all over on and the worst part was that my so called friends at the time didnt really care and still spoke to him like nothing had happened. Now everytime i get a flashback all those feelings come rushing back and i just remember everything he did to me, the rape, and the pain it caused. Its somethings hard to breathe and think and i just get so angry. When will i be normal again? How long will it take for me to live a normal life?

 

[shimmerz]

Have you found yourself a good therapist? I would expect that would be a first step.

 

[Della]

@jasmineaila don't feel bad because that same thing happened to me except I was with my boyfriend was with me. They ran the train on me. My boyfriend and I was in the room and his friend snuck in the room after we had finished. When my boyfriend left out of the room, his friend came from out of the closet and pushed me down on the bed and forced himself on me. I called for my boyfriend but he didn't answer. After he got done with me, I felt really bad about myself. the bad part about it is that my boyfriend knew it was going to happen because he planned the whole thing. I left my boyfriend after that. I told my mom but she didn't do anything she just told me to stop being fast and maybe that would not have happened to me. That was 29 years ago and I still think about it but I don't let it get me down. I have since gotten married since then and I have a 17 year old daughter now. I just look at them as the dirty scumbags that they were. They were no good. I later found out that my ex boyfriend is in jail now for drugs. He never made anything of his life sweetie. So, the healing process may take some time ok? If you need to call a rape center, that would be good as well. If a man really likes/love you, he will not do that to you. As far as your friends go, don't worry about them because if they still talk to him, then they are no better than he is. Find you some real good friends that will support you in what happened to you ok? Best of luck to you sweetie. :-)

 

[jasmineaila]

i live in a small village so there arent many therapists here and the one i have sometimes makes me fell more bad about myself but she doesnt realize... And im so sorry to hear about what happened to you.. but thank you, your advice helps:)

 

[Della]

Well, you have come to the right place for support. I feel that some of the sufferers on here are doing a better job than some of the therapists :-) I'm not a PTSD sufferer but I'm a supporter.. Yes, I have gotten past that in my life now. I was a teenager when that happened and I'm in my late 40's now. I think about it every now and then but it doesn't hurt anymore.

 

[jasmineaila]

Well, you have come to the right place for support. I feel that some of the sufferers on here are doing a...

yep :) i have only been on this site for an hour but i feel a lot more supported here already than i do normally :) everyone just understands and it feels like no one else does because they dont really understand ptsd

 

[sonicwhite]

Hun, normal is a lifetime. I have been tormented and even almost ganged raped. But I have learned to push those feelings away and try to put in the good I see in the world. It's going to be hard at first. But it will build character and walls that need to be there. Again. It will be a lifetime. But remember if you trust yourself and maybe even the Lord Jesus. This lifetime is nothing but a fleeting moment.

 

[void]

i live in a small village so there arent many therapists here and the one i have sometimes makes me...

There are qualified Therapists that do therapy on the computer, through Skype and other similar platforms.
Many people, who are in remote or under-served locations use this method to get help.

 

[void]

I was raped over half a year ago now... At first I was in denial, I didnt want to accept what had ha...

I'm sry to hear of the SA that you experienced.
The pain can go away.
For some it can go away in shorter periods and for others it takes a long time.
The key is to have a method to work through the aftereffects of the trauma, which is why others have advocated therapy.

Have you been formally diagnosed with PTSD?

 

[jasmineaila]

I'm sry to hear of the SA that you experienced.
The pain can go away.
For some it can go away in shorter per...

Yes I have :/

 

[WillyKat]

I'm truly sorry for what you've been through.

Hold your head up and be proud. You've taken steps to begin healing. You'll find lots of support here.

I'm sorry to say it, but I think our culture (western culture) pounds it into our heads that problems can be solved quickly. The truth is, the healing isn't fast; it takes a long, long time. You have to adjust your perspective on the healing and not think in terms of simple, fast solutions. Think instead of baby steps, of small manageable goals. You've already taken a couple of big leaps by getting help and coming here.

Regarding your "friends". All I can say is that maybe they aren't friends. Or maybe some are but feel caught up in the crowd. Having lost a lot of friends myself, I know it hurts. But keep your head up and look for new friends.

 

[void]

Yes I have :/

Is the clinician that diagnosed you still involved? ie. doing therapy with you?
or do you need to find a T. with whom you can work?