What Would Happen .....

[Snowflake]

I have about 15 bottles of pills that I have been prescribed to help reduce my depression, dissociation, lack of sleep,nightmares, pain, anxiety etc. I hate meds -I feel it numbs everything-it also gives me a tool I would need to end my life . So I just dumped them out in a gallon size baggie-wanting to give this small gift to my therapist tomorrow, with a note saying thanks but no thanks...Hmmmm I wonder what she would think?????

 

[sun seeker]

Is your therapist also the doctor who prescribed the pills? I wouldn't do this. I might say return them to the pharmacy IF you are not still taking them (they have safe ways to dispose of pills - you can't just throw them in the toilet) and TELL your therapist about it. But handing them over seems... I don't know, I just wouldn't want to put him/her in that position.

Have you been taking the meds until now? Some are really, really uncomfortable or dangerous to stop all at once, even if they do make you numb. Tapering gradually stabilizes your brain chemistry. Otherwise, you could feel much worse than you do now. I understand the impulse to get rid of them all at once, but it really is not a good idea.

 

[digger]

I'm wondering why you are feeling the need to present them to your therapist in this way rather than just flushing them or returning them to the pharmacy? It seems from reading that this is more about sending some sort of message to your therapist. Do you know what that message is, or what sort of reaction you are hoping to get from her?

 

[Casey_03]

It just seems like it would be needlessly and pointlessly aggressive. If you don't want to take the pills, don't take them. And if you want to tell your therapist how wrong you think it is to prescribe them, do so. But handing them to her in a bag just seems bizarre and childish. It also seems weird to lash out at her for prescribing them if you chose to have the prescriptions she gave you filled ....

 

[Snowflake]

Is your therapist also the doctor who prescribed the pills? I wouldn't do this. I might say return...

I am on nothing now. These have been prescribed during the past year, when it doesn't work we try another. So I have accumulated a lot. I have saved them just as a resource to end my life if I wanted to. No she is not the one that prescribed them-my psychiatrist did -they work closely with each other. She won't be happy regardless. It may come down to take meds or I don't see you for therapy.

 

[Sandstone]

I think your three threads today go together.

Your T wants you to write about your childhood and how that child felt. You want your T to contact you and demonstrate caring. You want to show your T that you have the tools to end your life, and that they have come from treatments that haven't helped you.

Do you want to write a bit more about how those things feel for you at the moment? I can see a couple of way s they could come together.

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

I have saved them just as a resource to end my life if I wanted to.

I think this is your point. By putting them in a bag and handing them over, you are stating that you don't want this resource any more. That I can understand. You're actually helping yourself in a way by handing them over especially if they aren't ones you are currently taking. I wouldn't necessarily put the note that you suggested on it, but I would try to have a serious discussion with your therapist about how trying the different medications hasn't helped and that you feel numb on them and that is not what you want and also that you have been accumulating all these pills that you don't need that are a resource to use to end things. Safer to give it to the therapist with the explanation as to why. It's important your therapist knows all these thoughts and I hope that it doesn't end with your therapist saying "Take meds or we're done".

 

[sun seeker]

I am on nothing now.

Okay, so stopping them is not a problem. Good to be clear on that.

She won't be happy regardless. It may come down to take meds or I don't see you for therapy.

So it seems like what you are trying to do here is express your anger and perhaps sense of helplessness in a concrete way. From your other post, I think I understand what this is about.

I think it would be much more productive to tell her openly what you are feeling, and let her help you work on that.

 

[Snowflake]

I am on nothing now. These have been prescribed during the past year, when it doesn't work we try anot...

I think your three threads today go together.

Your T wants you to write about your childhood and how...

Help me

 

[Sandstone]

I don't know what you mean.

 

[Snowflake]

I don't know what you mean.

I know I wrote 3 posts....how do they relate? Helpless? Confused? Alone? Crying for help? I am struggling with words and feelings-

 

[sun seeker]

Yes, as I said in one of your other threads, how about a trauma diary? I looked and it doesn't look like you've started one. That would do several things at once: writing about your childhood, giving you something to fill the time between sessions, and giving you some extra support. People who visit and comment on your diary know it is just for you, and if they are there it is to support you. I'd recommend thinking about it.