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Relationship 1 Year Married, Not Happily :(

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Jane11

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So I fell in love with a truly wonderful man. Then he went through a traumatic event about 2 years ago, was struck down with PTSD, and now it seems that man has disappeared.
We've been married for one year and haven't had sex for about the last 14 months (his choice).
He's numb most of the time, or is freaking out over something as small as dinner reservations.
He's mean at times, abrupt, pessimistic, and sulky. He's also incredibly selfish, which is maybe the hardest thing of all.
He's getting counselling,we are doing couples counselling, and I still find myself living with a man I love, but do not like.
In case I sound mean, this is the man who played on Facebook whilst I was in labour without youngest child, who ignores me most of the time, and who only acknowledges our children to tell them what they've done wrong.
When do I get the man I love back????
 
Hi Jane, I'm sorry that you are struggling in this relationship. I wish I could really help you with this question. Sadly, enough I'm standing in a similar phase as your husband but not mean or rude instead I'm sad, depressed, pessimistic and fearful towards relationships due to my own sexual, verbal, emotional and physical abuse. He probably needs long term therapy. Did he suffer from sexual abuse if you know by any chance?
 
He has to get help.
Left unmanaged ptsd ruins lives, but its manageable with help.

He needs to want it though.
 
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