5 Things I'm Thinking Today

[Ronin]

1) Kinda tired of calling the cops on those (... it really passes for people? aaight, we gonna write it as people.)
2) Also tired of not getting to do things I planned for my day / the fun time frames with different time zones :wtf:
3) But anger is good pesticides for the GriefBug.
4) 2019, not 2009. Sheesh, different numbers.
5) BabyBean in THIS one.

 

[Tinyflame]

You are not expendable,

Thank you @MrMoonlight :notworthy:

I heard nice words about worth, I can't recall them but should go back.

1.. Not doing well with a trigger did not mean a loss. It gives an opportunity to deal with disappointment. Or maybe redefine it as a sort-of win. In so far as I didn't avoid it.
2.. There is a challenge for me not to avoid. I likely should take the energy that goes towards exit strategies towards positive thoughts, and gratitude instead, and relevant reminders and reasons (based on fact) why I needn't choose avoidance.
3. Avoidance comes from fear, supposedly, and fear interferes with ability to make commitments to anyone or anything, also, so I heard today. And, you're supposed to say how you feel. :(
4. All of the above is easier to overcome in theory than irl. However, it's still up to me if I focus on what is good, or let something derail it. Which may itself be a good exit strategy. Well- not 'good'. Maybe a good excuse (back to #3..).
5. I suppose I am tired of being triggered. Or tired of triggers affecting me. Since the distortion or degree of distortion I'm left with is not right. Which takes an act of faith to say, but is true.

 

[Rani G2]

Can someone take me to an high-security wing with artificial intelligence ?

You take the red pill - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes."
-Matrix

Want to go the Wonderland

Is their a quicker way to rewire?

Give the monkey sugar..

 

[intothelight]

1. Start the pic a day project.
2. Keep committed to the new changes.
3. Do one anonymous nice thing for someone else.
4. Schedule grooming for the beasts.
5. Hoping that breaking things down into little pieces eases the feeling of being overwhelmed.

 

[Emotional girl]

It has been 5 months and I still miss him.

I wonder if he ever thinks about me.

Only a few more days to the anniversary and my life changed forever.

I just want the pain to stop.

Everything makes sense now.

 

[Friday]

1. Only a teenager could take “I’m mad at you for ABC...” and respond with “I can’t be your emotional support!” (Wtf???) and follow that up with “You’re doing just what DAD used to do.” Seriously kiddo???

Don’t get me wrong, effective as f*ck as far as diverting the conversation away from what I was pissed about (like driving along the freeway in 5th and then just jamming it into 1st, and watching the engine completely freeze up and leap out of the car to go hitch a ride with someone who can actually drive). But goddamn, completely missing the point AND a blow below the belt? He’s good. I’ll give him that.

2. FFS. How tired, hungry, and in pain do I have to be in to get emotionally invested in an argument with a teenager? :facepalm: It’s like sticking your arm into a cat fight. That? Right there? Is a self inflicted injury.

3. On a related note, I despise physical therapy.

4. I also walked a couple miles today -walked might be overstating- with 1 foot dislocated and the other leg completely seized up. It wasn’t intentional. I was doing just fine, until my stupid leg buckled. And then I had a lovely 2 inch stride from the grocery store to home.

5. I don’t want to cook. Bitch moan whine complaine. My entire body feels like a shin splint.

 

[Ronin]

1) That was your OWN teenager, @Friday. With the kind of actions that can kill him, others, or hurt them for life. And with lies. And more than that, with hurtful ones. Of course you are emotionally invested in all of that. (... A good parent, hello? It got a name.) Kiddo needa chill, and you needa happy times.

2) Kudos on getting home, and thinking of food, and damn, deliveries and stuff are legit, simplest edible things on hand ARE food, and you so deserve rest (.... is a weapon so wise to be friends with.)

3 to 5) ... Coffee, meets, NotTalking Talking the week ahead, joys. At least there is sunshine. And the weekend. Maybe.

 

[Rani G2]

No candidate for advice on morals.

Question asked, wrong advice given it seems.

She said, you should question your morals.

She wants to be mother Theresa.

Sorry lady, no awards given. Whom do you want to satisfy?

 

[Ronin]

1) Series of bad juju decisions, but since I have no rope to offer them to hang themselves with, bad juju & IAO will do.
2) ... Babies to fix it for, later. Or when babies are going to a prom.
3) Taxes. The last thing on my mind. But taxes. Because taxes are an elephant in the room.
... and because I am not Reader to lie that badly, however fun that year was.
5) Thinking of that island, later. One step a time.

 

[Muttly]

1) 4 dogs, 2 of them blind, and 1 reactive, in this house is going to be absolutely insane
2) Chronic pain condition been flared up. Spring always wreaks havoc. On the bright side, I been living my life and doing my things and it's not stopping me. It also makes me realize how much better I am compared to how I used to be
3) I have stuff to do, but I am also going to reserve time today to just chill out
4) I went from, wow my brain is so full of stuff to "wha? zzzzzzz" so quickly
5) hungry

 

[Rani G2]

Jabbering humans are uninteresting to me! Listen, listen, listen...

History repeating

Waiting for an Epiphany while drawing...

No Epiphany came

Cannot think of a 5th thing

 

[Ronin]

1) f*ck the timing on that.
2) R, trauma reenactments are bs. Likely somewhere in the () because that makes sense column.
3) The new T needs to knock off that encouraging & I need to tell her that.
She likely has no goddamn idea what those age notes mean to me.
That is true just.in.all.is.well.civvie.
4/5) Not nuff cigars for those thoughts. Or coffee.