About To Jump Into Some Difficult Stuff

[IchBin]

I had a question regarding my current therapy. I have been with a therapist for about 3 and a half months, and we have an excellent therapeutic alliance - I trust him more than I think I've ever trusted anybody. I've gone through like 4 other therapists who were not very helpful until I found him, which is incredibly fortunate. He's a dream therapist primarily, but also has training in the humanistic tradition.

So in the past I have had trouble with disclosing too much too soon, and then feeling empty with nothing to talk about. I've taken it slower this time, hoping to carefully work out little things first before getting into the meat of the trauma. Well, recently dreams have been coming up relating to my history of sexual abuse, so I think now is the time to start working through this stuff with him. But my question is this: how do you guys deal with the compounded stress that this kind of work puts you through? I am in school full time, and honestly it never feels like I need more stress, but then again my psychotherapy trajectory has sort of been on its own schedule for couple of years, and I think I'm really starting to get somewhere.

Also, he doesn't specifically have trauma training, so I have had to kind of supplement the work we do with reading scholarly papers and books on how to treat cPTSD etc. Do you guys have any tips on how to tackle difficult therapy sessions? Do you find it helpful to write out what you want to say beforehand? I'm always worried about checking out or dissociating and then basically becoming retraumatized, and in the past I've felt a spike in suicidal thoughts/self harm urges when I get into traumatic stuff. Do you have any suggestions on how to stay grounded/in the room when emotions run high? I have xanax, which I could take before the session, but I don't know how advisable that is.

Gahhhhhhhhhh,:alien: sigh, thanks in advance guys for any assistance.

 

[mamachick]

I would ask your therapist every one of those questions and be specific. Some has how he handles such sessions. Unless you are prescribed xanax and take it regularly-he may not want you to take it precautionary as it may interfere with emotions. Im sure your therapist would want to know that you fear suicidal thoughts after opening up. Not sure if this was any help but I always think-when in doubt, check it out

 

[The Albatross]

For the difficult stuff, I ground at the very beginning of the session. As I'm engaged, I pause often and self check. When I'm stressing I give it the number and tell my spouse and my T. At the same time I run through my body. Can I feel my head (am "I" behind or in front of my eyelids?), can I feel my spine, can I feel my shoulders/hips/legs/arms/hands/feet. Then take my time, as best as I can. Sometimes I dance around it for a while, until I get my stress down to a 4 or 5. Then I push til it's about an 8. At 8 I tend to back off and adopt a "this is where I'm at" attitude. My T doesn't push me to go further, not his way I guess. I make a conscious effort to do my self care before the sessions and to go all the way to the red line being mindful of staying with it. I have not yet disassociated with my T.