Adhd, Dyslexia And Ptsd How To Deal With Someone Like This When Dating?

[sunshinesunshine]

For the past 2 months, I have been seeing this guy, he lives 45 minutes away but does drive, going to college to earn his degree in Psychology, has a job and has his own place. Over these past 2 months him and I have gone out on 6 dates, varying from different events, really enjoying each other's company too.

During our time together we have also discussed a lot of things from us becoming Boyfriend/Girlfriend, to past relationships dealing with our Ex's to the future like kids, marriage, sex, sexual experiences etc. But here's the issue, this guy experienced a little kid drowning in a pool while he was at someone's house, so that caused him to get PTSD - Post traumatic stress disorder, he then told me he suffers from ADHD - Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder as well as Dyslexia where it's hard for him to express himself through writing, like texting or other forms of writing up words in the proper way.

Out of all of this I have been there for him and have accepted him and want us to continue dating and communicating with one another and see where it goes from this point onward. But again these 3 things causes him to act up, like his PTSD has him have these episodes of breakdowns where he doesn't feel like himself. Like he texted me just last night and told me this "John (cries) then says: "This is me sounding like a little ***** again. I am just enjoying our time together because I'm not cool enough about it. I don't deserve anything better that's why I know you're never going to want to be my girlfriend, I give up".

Before he had said that, our previous conversation began with him asking me

"For 10 white 10 things you don't like and 10 things you do like about me"

I had given him my lists.

Then he says "Conern"

Then he says "Any sexual videos or picks with exes to be aware of so no surprise"

I gave my response he then says "Because because I'm like everyone else only your exes are that special I just don't even care about doing anything sexual for a long time but it's true always the jerks nice guys always assume to be *******s that's something that bothers me not because the sexual stuff but because you would trust them and assume that I'm just like them"

He then says "Just a fantasy"

I had asked him what he meant by that and he says "To be desired the way your ex R or better but now I'm always guy who's where you can I wish I was Raymond drugs as those bad boys every girl I have room in my heart for ditched me I wish I could gt you to love me like I was e"

"I know now you never want to be my girlfriend I understand"

"I know I know I blew it now"

"Can we talk"

He did have a previous epioside like this one where this similar thing happened and now this one happened. I just don't know what to do or how to help him. What would you do in this situation? Have any of you dealt with this sort of thing before? Please help!

 

[KwanYingirl]

My son is dyslexic. He struggles expressing himself although he is a successful sales rep who talks for a living. Go figure!!! People with dyslexia maintain a rigid viewpoint as they don't easily transition from one feeling state into another. It takes them a longer time to process their day to day routines. My son also got his college degree in psychology and did very well. But he had previously failed at accounting and communication majors.

They crave predictability but are quite reckless at times. Don't take on responsibility for his feeling states. It is sad to watch them struggle but hounding them will send him packing.

His PTSD is a whole other dimension of his personality. I believe it's his PTSD that is defeating himself with his comments about your past. We all have a past, he just hasn't gained any mastery over his past. He's projecting his low self esteem onto you. Don't fall for it. I suggest distracting him from those conversations, bring him back to the present. No worrying about the past or future. As for ADHD we were told my son has it. I never agreed and neither does he. It's a label. It takes a person with dyslexia extra time to create and process language at every level-spoken, written or read. Celebrate what he does well and let him have extra time to express himself and don't grade him on it.

 

[Neverthesame]

I think this is a condition which affects quite a few men when they are young and inexperienced with the opposite sex. The technical term for it is "diarrhoea of the mouth".

All joking aside, I think he's just nervous. With that his Adhd, as well what may be a bit of a self-depreciation from his Ptsd. He is probably just saying something off the top of his head, realizing how bad it actually sounded. Then attempting damage control. All the while realizing that he's just digging himself deeper, and becoming discouraged. Then kicking himself for not shutting up when he probably should have. Ha. Been there, done that.

I doubt he means anything by it, Ptsd has a nasty way of making a person feel worthless. I don't have Adhd, but I am notoriously impatient about resolving a perceived conflict. Not to mention I have had a few nasty cases of "verbal diarrhoea".

 

[sunshinesunshine]

Haha crazy stuff. So again what is the best thing to do about this then?

 

[Friday]

On the PTSD side of things:

https://www.myptsd.com/threads/understanding-post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd.86476/

The Ptsd Cup Explanation

On the ADHD side of things I usually like to recommend 'You mean I'm not lazy, stupid, or crazy?!?' By Kate Kelly & Peggy Ramundo