Relationship Advive On What I Can Do To Support My Wife?

[Bigray79]

Advive on what I can do to support my wife? Nothing is too much or hard she's my world thank you?

 

[Zanshin]

Ask her.

For some people it's listening, others it's silence, some want contact and some do not - and for some it changes with the breeze, so ask what she needs and let her know you care and are there to help her.

Non-judgmental patience is always a good start, no yelling or extreme reactions.

Good luck to both of you.

 

[Justmehere]

Ask her. Ask her what you can do to help, and if she doesn't know, offer a few ideas and see if she likes any of them. Some of the most important things I have found is for my supporters to take good care of themselves and to be there, without being pushy. I'll reach out to them when I'm ready.

 

[Bigray79]

Ask her.

For some people it's listening, others it's silence, some want contact and some do not - and...

Thanks for wisdom

I was failing badly and making worse so trying to reach out for help

 

[mary1979]

Thanks for wisdom

I was failing badly and making worse so trying to reach out for help

You were not failing at all.

Everything you do is just right.

X

 

[Bigray79]

Ask her. Ask her what you can do to help, and if she doesn't know, offer a few ideas and see if she l...

Do you mean walk along beach or send to get nails done?

 

[Justmehere]

Do you mean walk along beach or send to get nails done?

If those are things that might lower her stress cup, sure! See what she says. It may even be things like cook dinner or do the laundry while she decompresses from a difficult day. :)

 

[Bigray79]

If those are things that might lower her stress cup, sure! See what she says. It may even be things l...

Oh cool destress and take care of to do list so she able to not feel pressured thank you matey

 

[Justmehere]

Her symptoms may still remain, and she may push you away at times, but it's not you failing. Sometimes, it's really hard for sufferers and supporters to figure out what can help. I've been both a sufferer and a supporter, and your heart for her and determination to find something that will help is so admirable and will take you far. We need more people like you in the world. Keep learning and reaching out. You've got this!

 

[Zanshin]

Definitely yes on the to-do list. Encourage things she enjoys, even if she's forgotten that she enjoys them.

Possibly, show her this site... Not necessarily this thread, as "hey, I'm lost so I asked some random strangers for help" isn't always well received...

But if she's struggling this may help her figure things out, if she's ready.

 

[Sweetpea76]

Like everybody is saying, communication is the first step. Without communication, you're going to have a rough time.

Learning about PTSD goes a long way. I think it took a lot of stress off of me once I understood the symptoms of PTSD, or say, how my vets specific symptoms presented themselves. Here are some good links to start with:

https://www.myptsd.com/threads/the-ptsd-cup-explanation.13737/

https://www.myptsd.com/threads/stressor-vs-trigger-what-is-a-trigger.9903/

Diane England's book The Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Relationship: How To Support Your Partner And Keep Your Relationship Healthy is referred to as "the bible" in the supporter section. It has basic info about PTSD, communication, and conflict resolution. Shock Waves: A Practical Guide to Living With a Loved One's PTSD by Cynthia Orange is a good addition to the relationship book, because it is more about supporter self care.

Being a supporter is a huge learning curve. Coming here and asking for advice was a great first step!

 

[Bigray79]

Her symptoms may still remain, and she may push you away at times, but it's not you failing. Sometime...

Yeah ive taken things personal and bite back. She put me onto this site. Nice calm and patience

Definitely yes on the to-do list. Encourage things she enjoys, even if she's forgotten that she enjoys...

She one got me on here so i could read

Like everybody is saying, communication is the first step. Without communication, you're going to hav...

Thank you for links my version of help is making this harder for her. You all be amazing means the world thank you