Justmehere
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I am so angry. I am not even sure why. I think I got triggered by a text. The problem is that I'm now angry about all things under the sun. I'm taking it out on myself.
I don't know how to get out of this place. I'm so angry I could take a sledgehammer to everything and threatened to destroy my own property instead of have anyone attempt to argue with me about it. There is an object, of a car, that is a trigger. I was harmed for two years over it. Just won a case in court have the asshole hurting me removed from my life and now everyone is telling me what to do with the object he used to stalk me over and I seriously am losing it. I tried no. I tried walking away from conversations and contact to hold the boundary I will not discuss it. People started to shut up about it.
Someone mentioned it today.
I told several people this is what I'm doing. I'm getting a sledgehammer and going to destroy it into a big mess so no one can ever again tell me what to do about this car. I spent two years getting death threats and worse over this car and I'm so effing done.
I genuinely hate the object. Because I hated the abuse. But I was trying to sell it. Now? I'm like eff it all.
Someone started to argue about my printer. So I said okay the printer gets destroyed too. Got more complaints of everything else I'm handling wrong? Line it up so I can smash it so no one ever gives me hell about it again. Let's get it destroyed. I will destroy everything I own faster than I will ever listen to any more arguments about what I do with my things in my home where I live alone.
Yeah so I'm losing it.
Seriously want to do it even hours later.
That's how angry I am.
This is not like me, but in this moment, this is me. I'm saying this. I haven't bought the sledgehammer but I'm pretty sure I'm angry enough I could just take anything to this, kick the crap out of things...
This is right or flight. My therapist suggesting I feel the feeling more is a not good idea. I would probably do myself in if it do that.
Deep breathing isn't cutting it. Any suggestions?
I don't know how to get out of this place. I'm so angry I could take a sledgehammer to everything and threatened to destroy my own property instead of have anyone attempt to argue with me about it. There is an object, of a car, that is a trigger. I was harmed for two years over it. Just won a case in court have the asshole hurting me removed from my life and now everyone is telling me what to do with the object he used to stalk me over and I seriously am losing it. I tried no. I tried walking away from conversations and contact to hold the boundary I will not discuss it. People started to shut up about it.
Someone mentioned it today.
I told several people this is what I'm doing. I'm getting a sledgehammer and going to destroy it into a big mess so no one can ever again tell me what to do about this car. I spent two years getting death threats and worse over this car and I'm so effing done.
I genuinely hate the object. Because I hated the abuse. But I was trying to sell it. Now? I'm like eff it all.
Someone started to argue about my printer. So I said okay the printer gets destroyed too. Got more complaints of everything else I'm handling wrong? Line it up so I can smash it so no one ever gives me hell about it again. Let's get it destroyed. I will destroy everything I own faster than I will ever listen to any more arguments about what I do with my things in my home where I live alone.
Yeah so I'm losing it.
Seriously want to do it even hours later.
That's how angry I am.
This is not like me, but in this moment, this is me. I'm saying this. I haven't bought the sledgehammer but I'm pretty sure I'm angry enough I could just take anything to this, kick the crap out of things...
This is right or flight. My therapist suggesting I feel the feeling more is a not good idea. I would probably do myself in if it do that.
Deep breathing isn't cutting it. Any suggestions?
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