Childhood Animal abuse/ father killed pets in front of me

[Friday]

This was a shock to me because I hadn't made the connection between what my father had done, to me and my pets, and a crime......although I now understand that it was a crime

It’s such a common tactic of certain types of abusers to injure/maim/kill (or threaten to) the family pet in order to manipulate & control their spouse & kids... that our local courts slap restraining orders / orders of protection on the pets themselves during domestic violence divorces.

Turns a misdemenor (animal cruelty / animal abuse) into a felony child abuse / spousal abuse charge.

Because that’s what it is. Not simply animal abuse, which is bad enough, but using animals TO abuse.

 

[Lionheart]

Turns a misdemeanor (animal cruelty / animal abuse) into a felony child abuse / spousal abuse charge.

Not simply animal abuse, which is bad enough, but using animals TO abuse.

I am happy that the courts seem to "get it". It is and should be a felony abuse offense to use animals to abuse,...especially a young child!!! It is an experience that I would not wish on anyone!

 

[Muttly]

My dad ran over a chicken on purpose once. He was so freaking pleased with himself. My brother and I were in the car and both upset. It wasn't even a pet and we were upset and I still remember it. For those of you, who it was your pets, I am so sorry. I can't imagine how awful it would be.

My dad also wanted our yard to be pristine. No roaming dogs or cats were allowed. He would shoot them with the bee-bee gun or throw rocks at them. If anyone in the family complained, he would say we should be happy he would threaten to get out a gun and shoot them. We were expected to also use the bee-bee gun or rocks too. I never wanted to. When I was really young, I just wouldn't, but then he'd get angry and do it and I'd be in trouble. So, I'd try to get to the animals before he did so I could persuade or chase them from the yard in nonviolent ways. I don't remember but I'm pretty sure, at least once I used the bee-bee gun, because I would have been bad if I didn't. I hope I didn't. If I did some other alter holds the memories. The very idea makes me sick. He enjoyed it. I know that. He also hated cats and would kick them if they got near him. When I was an adult, before I cut him out of my life, when he'd come to my house I'd watch him so closely. I had cats and dogs.

The final thing, that allowed me to cut him out of my life, is when he killed his pet bird. My mom had died and it was more her pet than his. But he'd always interacted with the bird and seemed to enjoy. But when she died, he killed it because he was tired of taking care of it. He never asked my brother or I if we would take it. He never tried. My mom also had two aquariums of fish which he flushed. I was done. All the things he'd done to me, I could accept in some twisted way. But I couldn't accept that.

(sorry for making this about me)

 

[littleoc]

He would shoot them with the bee-bee gun or throw rocks at them.

My mom also had two aquariums of fish which he flushed.

I relate to both of these. I'm sorry that you do too.

Don't worry, you didn't make it about you

 

[Muttly]

@littleoc Sorry you had experiences.

 

[Lionheart]

My dad got me a BB gun to keep birds out of our cherry tree, but the first time I shot at a bird, I unintentionally killed it. I was absolutely devastated. I had a funeral for it, complete with the cross off of my bible. I would never shoot at the birds again after that incident.

I hate that we had those types of experiences where animals were hurt or killed...no one deserves that stuff!!!

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I just wish the animal screams would leave my head! There is nothing like it and it's horrible. Haunting!

no one deserves that stuff!!

Except for those of us that eventually willingly killed animals as chilren....

 

[littleoc]

I'm not sure that "willing" is the right word, though.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

@littleoc, no longer forced? I mean, I suppose it isn't fully willing as in I actually wanted to. My therapist says that it was still forced as I was under threat and under duress. But, I dunno, my brain still goes to I must be punished for doing something so horrible without actually be physically forced to. I dunno. Sorry, didn't mean to over take the thread or anything.

 

[littleoc]

Sorry, didn't mean to over take the thread or anything.

(I don't believe you have!)

I understand. I have trouble discussing it, but the death of a hamster in particular really bothers me. I was maybe 11 or 12, but it still haunts me and I still feel such guilt over it.

But in reality is was hardly my fault

 

[Lionheart]

No problems talking about the killing of animals, willingly or otherwise,.....that is what this thread is about, well, that and child abuse.

@lostforgottensoul , it certainly sounds to me as if you were brainwashed by others and that is what forced you. It may not have been a physical threat , but it was real enough and it is a heavy thing to a young mind, ...even an adult mind. I have to agree with your therapist.

 

[Wingedleo]

One morning when I was 11 or 12, my sister and I missed the school bus. My dad then had us watch while he shot all our cats. It wasn't routine but it happened a few times. It was soul destroying and is a common intrusive memory of mine. Honestly I get why you would wonder if it was shameful. It isn't. But, like you, I felt personally responsible and guilty. We aren't responsible for our pets deaths. It feels shameful because our abusers wanted us to keep it a secret. They didn't want us to talk to other people about it because we would learn the truth; the abuser is responsible. They are guilty, not us. I've also found that not many people can relate to what happened, so it makes me feel isolated and shameful. But I didn't cause it and it isn't my job to keep his secret.
Thank you so much for this thread. I have been looking for it for years and while the subject is sad, I feel less alone <3