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Sufferer Another Newbie

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Bristol

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After so many things i google brought me here i decided i may as well join up!

I am struggling big time with therapy at the moment, about 9 sessions in and still totally incapable of managing to string a sentence together when im in there, feel like im killing time between sessions and then wasting the session once im in there.

Just good to know Im not alone in all this, i cant even write in here the root cause of it all which is so frustrating but this is a major start for me!

Bristol
 
You're not alone. I basically didn't talk to my therapist, at least not anything important, for months. Eventually journaling and poetry helped. I'd let my therapist read what I wrote and then we eventually get to talking...sometimes. It's better now (3 years in), but I still have times I find it hard to talk. It's a process and it's difficult, but most importantly it needs to be done at the speed you're comfortable with. Welcome to the forum and I hope you will find the support you may be looking for here.
 
I found therapy not very helpful face to face. I felt that talking things over with close friends regularly helped a lot more, and that the therapy had been an expensive waste. Plus forums like this help, as you are hearing from people actually in the same boat as yourself x
 
I think having PTSD is a deeply personal thing and you do feel really alone with it - it often feels like there is only you it is happening to - this is why a forum for otjer sufferers helps - people know what you are going through and can relate to it x
 
Welcome, Bristol!
You have found a really special place to help you feel that you are not alone. Friendly, compassionate, empathetic, and helpful people are here due to the pain of trauma.
We all have different causes, with pain as our common bond.

There aren't comparisons of our trauma, which would be pointless, and we focus on our own journeys, and we may help others as we all move forward into learning how to manage our pain.

I have found that parts of my trauma have been "laid to rest ", but some of the deeper traumas, I have had to learn to manage. Not easy, and not fast. I wish that could happen.
It's like peeling onions...when one layer is pulled off...there is another.

It does take work, and being willing to open up to a therapist, which is difficult, because the words don't come easily. After all, many times, there hasn't been any one who cared to listen, or that weren't "safe" to share your pain and trauma with.

It IS WORTH the work of getting rid the inner dialogue of low self esteem, self hate, and other inner feelings that reflect our trauma.

Those thinking patterns ultimately consist of inner conversations which are mostly "emotional garbage". We continue the thought patterns from the past, when our trauma or traumas occurred.

The sooner you start, there are better chances of success, in my opinion.

I turn 60 next month, and I am just now getting rid of some of the HEAVY mental and emotional "garbage" of my internal voice.

Again, WELCOME to myptsd!

AngelkeeperJ/AKJ
Here's a hug if ok ((( :hug: )))
 
Google did good! I'm glad you found us, Bristol. You'll be amazed at what a relief it is to talk with people who speak your language.
 
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