Anxiety And Living Situation

[Xander Haworth]

I recently moved from Arizona to Illinios in Febuary. Three weeks after getting her my dog died. She was only 5 years old. 5 years ago it was summer in Arizona 115 degree's outside. I saw a dog running loose. It took me a hour but i finally got her cornered and took her home with me. She was so skinny her ribs were poking out. Her eye's were bloodshot and her paws were bleeding. She had no collar or tags. I put up missing dog poster's all around the neighborhood waited for a week and got no phone calls. I named her Lucky and kept her. I trained her to sit stay lay down roll over and bark. She was the perfect dog. Very protective and very smart. She helped me out alot calmed me down and gave me something to take care of. She slept in my bed with me every night. I then went into the military and brought her everywhere with me. When she died it drove a huge spike threw my heart. Without her my anxiety is 10x worse. I am living in a trialer with my Grandma and Grandpa and my mom. It is very crowded. My grandpa is loosing his mind and yells at everybody all the time for nothing really. We are planning to move to Ohio in September with me my mom my younger sister and her boyfriend. So untill we all get settled I am just stuck in a rock and hard place. I need some advice.

 

[joeylittle]

Welcome to the forum, @Xander Haworth - and I'm so, so sorry to hear about you losing Lucky. She sounds like an amazing friend, and a real source of strength and comfort for you. Try and remember that you are still grieving, and that takes time, as much as it hurts. You've also gone through a huge life shift not that long ago, and that's going to up anxiety even under non-stressful circumstances. This isn't quite exactly what you are going through, but it's really related, and you might find it useful: PTSD stress cup

September isn't super-far away, but it's not just around the corner, either. Do you know if there are any mental health or VA support services in your area? And part of me wants to say, have you thought about getting another dog?

 

[Xander Haworth]

Thank you,
She really was the best, I really thought of her as more my child than just simply a pet. She was like my negative charge, what grounded me. Without that negative charge I'm not a complete circut. Yes I know I still am, I think of her very often. I am not an emotional person but, when she died I cried for two weeks strait. Every night I would cry becuase she would sleep with me and now I'm all alone. Yes it isn't that far away but, I am not holding my breath about moving. My mom sister and her boyfriend are all very flakey people. I have a counciler at the hospital here that I talk to. The town I live in right now is a very small town and all the people are old and retired. The closest city is a hour away. Also, the VA will not help me because of a clerical error in some paperwork. Oh yes I really want another dog I had one picked out and everything from the humane society. When I asked my Grandpa he said no, he didn't care that having a dog would help me be 100x better. He just saw an animal and said no. He is a dick.

 

[Deleted member 28740]

When I asked my Grandpa he said no, he didn't care that having a dog would help me be 100x better. He just saw an animal and said no. He is a dick.

Having a dog would help him be 100% better. Any way to interact with him in the finding of his and your new "negative grounder."? I almost called my stray found best friend Lucky Lucy, but knew I was the lucky one. My heart aches for your loss. Get the grumpy gramps to do the picking - amazing how tender they are to animals (if they have one) their own pain and needs given to caring for a 4 legged. If not for GG, you will find a new pal. Until then, B sends a woof woof. Take care.

 

[Xander Haworth]

Why did u change what I said to help him be 100% better. I ment having a dog would help me be 100 times better. He is the hardest person I have met to interact with. Nobody likes to be around him or talk to him. He actually loved my dog lucky. He said if he ever were to have a dog it would have been Lucky. I think he doesnt see that a dog can be trained to be the same way Lucky was. My Grandpa looks down on everybody else. So, he thinks very low of me even though I went to college for 2 years was in the Army and going back to college. He probably thinks that I will get a dog and not take care of the dog or I wont train the dog. Ya I agree that I was the real lucky one when she came to me. Once he would actually be around a dog that I trained he would be happier and love the dog. He just can't see that actually happening. Once I move I will find a dog. So I'm not giving up.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Get yourself a new companion dog and f*ck your grandfather who sounds like a bully. He needs you to stand up to him and call his bluff. I know easier said than done but my FIL was a tyrant and I was the terrified one who alone stood up to him many times. Over time he gave me a grudging respect and we became close. He died and I still miss him.

Be true to your self and get yourself another pal to love and be loved by you.. I am very proud of you and what you have accomplished.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

In the meantime can you volunteer at an animal shelter or rescue? No, its not the same, but it will give you time with animals that may help you stay calm and grounded. It would be ideal to have a dog of your own, but this may help for now.

Welcome to the forum.

 

[Xander Haworth]

I wish I could just say f him and get a dog. Can't really do that when your living under his roof rent free. I have stood up to him a lot. So far when we fight I have won about 6 where I prove him wrong. he has a very low self asteem so he has to put down other people to feel better. He is 82 though. I don't think he will change at all. But hopefully when I move to Ohio in September things will change.

 

[Xander Haworth]

That's a great idea. I really like that. To volunteer at a shelter. Only thing is the closest one is a hour away. I will look more into it. Maybe the vet here needs volunteers.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

That's a good idea! I know that our local vet offices have overnight boarders. I looked into volunteering there when I was in college. They might let you walk the dogs or something like that, or even help with giving the sick ones attention so that they feel comfort while away from home.

 

[Xander Haworth]

What do you mean they have overnight boarder's? Do you mean people who stay overnight with the animals to watch them and what not? Ya I did the same when I needed volunteering hours for a scholarship I was applying for. I would actually enjoy doing that even if it was like you said just walking the dogs or just being with them. I think that people with PTSD expecially it helps them to be around animals or dogs in my case. I talk also on a combat PTSD forum. This one guy just made me really angry. When I got out of the Army my dd214 was wrong. I spent two months in Afghan and one thing that was wrong on my dd214 is that is says i never went overseas. Well, I am trying to explain this to somebody and now he is acusing me of lying about everything I have said. When I was overseas I worked with SF for two months and the mission we had we needed Top Secret clearence to be able to work with them. I just happened to have a Top Secret clearnce. So in turn there isn't a record of our exact mission. Also, when I went over there it was just for two months so I decided not to tell my mom so she wouldn't worry every night. I decided to tell her when I got back. Now my whole family thinks I am lying about serving over there. They all think that I am lying about everything that isn't documented. It really is like pouring salt into an open wound for me. The only person who believes me is my mom because she knew how messed up my unit was and everything that happened. I really don't know how to deal with this situation with my family or this guy on that website. Do you have any advice?

 

[ReachingOutJ]

Xander, I am deeply sorry for what you have gone through, and I empathize. My home is triggering my PTSD, and I have no way to move out right now, due to financial problems. I can't have pets here, but even if I could, I don't think I could handle the responsibility.