Had to get this out of my head or I'm going to go stage 5 clinger on his a**. We haven't talked for sh*t lately. Missed good nights and good mornings, no more keeping each other updated about our day, no more than one word answers.
I asked if we're good, he said yes. I asked if I am worrying for nothing, he said yes. So....HEY BRAIN QUIT FREAKING OUT! I'm resisting the urge to reach out -- it's like a battle between the calm, confident, independent side of me and the insecure, anxious, panicky side of me. But that side is usually irrational.
But <50% of the time my hunches turn out to be true! Or somewhat true.....So how can I ignore the feeling in my gut this time? In another week, he's going to tell me there's someone else that he's been talking to and doesn't want this relationship anymore. No, he's just preoccupied. Preoccupied with what? No anniversaries, hasn't been massively triggered lately, nothing new is happening. So that leaves that he's preoccupied with another girl. No, it doesn't. Why would he tell you he loves you and we're good and that I am worrying for nothing if he's seeking a different relationship? Because that's what guys do. And you never know how he really feels anyway because he's bad at feelings. He tells you that himself. But there are glimpses where you can tell he really does care about you. He will bring you yogurt if you don't want to get off the couch and ask him to, he will invite you to soccer games with his family, he will tell you there is nothing to worry about. Then why am I worrying?
Just put your phone away. You know he's not purposefully trying to make you crazy by not reaching out today. You know he's not actively thinking "I'm going to avoid her" or "Man, I don't want to talk to her". He's just in his own zone and doesn't have anything particular to say to you. That's normal. You guys talk all the time normally -- that's not normal. That's the exception. So relax. Ignore that twisting feeling in your stomach and once it starts to subside? Don't dwell on anything from before the moment you relaxed or it will all come back. And that is not at all productive.
(Note: I am not really looking for relationship advice here. I am aware of the issues. I am simply posting to relieve some of the anxiety I feel so as to avoid smothering my supporter atm. Although, if you have any grounding or distraction techniques, I could probably benefit from things like that.)
I asked if we're good, he said yes. I asked if I am worrying for nothing, he said yes. So....HEY BRAIN QUIT FREAKING OUT! I'm resisting the urge to reach out -- it's like a battle between the calm, confident, independent side of me and the insecure, anxious, panicky side of me. But that side is usually irrational.
But <50% of the time my hunches turn out to be true! Or somewhat true.....So how can I ignore the feeling in my gut this time? In another week, he's going to tell me there's someone else that he's been talking to and doesn't want this relationship anymore. No, he's just preoccupied. Preoccupied with what? No anniversaries, hasn't been massively triggered lately, nothing new is happening. So that leaves that he's preoccupied with another girl. No, it doesn't. Why would he tell you he loves you and we're good and that I am worrying for nothing if he's seeking a different relationship? Because that's what guys do. And you never know how he really feels anyway because he's bad at feelings. He tells you that himself. But there are glimpses where you can tell he really does care about you. He will bring you yogurt if you don't want to get off the couch and ask him to, he will invite you to soccer games with his family, he will tell you there is nothing to worry about. Then why am I worrying?
Just put your phone away. You know he's not purposefully trying to make you crazy by not reaching out today. You know he's not actively thinking "I'm going to avoid her" or "Man, I don't want to talk to her". He's just in his own zone and doesn't have anything particular to say to you. That's normal. You guys talk all the time normally -- that's not normal. That's the exception. So relax. Ignore that twisting feeling in your stomach and once it starts to subside? Don't dwell on anything from before the moment you relaxed or it will all come back. And that is not at all productive.
(Note: I am not really looking for relationship advice here. I am aware of the issues. I am simply posting to relieve some of the anxiety I feel so as to avoid smothering my supporter atm. Although, if you have any grounding or distraction techniques, I could probably benefit from things like that.)
