Childhood Any Only Children Out There?

[Fadeaway]

This thread has been hard to come back too, but it helps to know I am not alone. @Radise you have no idea how close to home that hits. Not the Native American stuff specifically, but very similar. Very very isolating because I only had a couple of very elderly neighbors within a 5 mile radius.

 

[Deleted member 20978]

Only child of an only child single mom. Also moved around so that I attended 9 schools by high school graduation, so always saying goodbye to circles of friends. Learned to find family in the world. My oldest friend is also an only child raised by a single mom. Even though we only talk pretty rarely, there is a familiarity that makes her feel like the sister I never had.

I learned a lot of inner strength. I think one of the hardest aspects of my PTSD has been losing faith in myself. I always relied on myself as the one constant amidst constant change.

 

[Born to Run]

I am an only child too. I attended 7 schools including ones abroad until I went to study. Almost never made friends as I was always saying goodbye within a few years. Imprisoned at home with the monsters, always alone. My dear budgie, my only friend, was handed over in cold blood to one of the movers, as the country we moved to did not allow import of birds. Later my pets saved me, as I would not be here, if they had not been there, and still are.
The disgusting thing is that people often think that an only child is spoiled and always had too much attention. Rather the opposite, if you are severely neglected, physically and psychologically abused.

 

[Upside Down Eagle]

This thread has been hard to come back too, but it helps to know I am not alone. @Radise you have no idea how close to home that hits. Not the Native American stuff specifically, but very similar. Very very isolating because I only had a couple of very elderly neighbors within a 5 mile radius.

We lived in a very remote village as well, but there were some kids down the mountain my own age. I´d walk all the way over there (about an hour walk). And I´ve gotta say the time I spent on my own, away from my parents, was when I had some of the best times.

I´d have my cat with me in the cabin, I´d make drawings and then berate my cat for jumping on the table. I´d play music very loud and pretend to play guitar with a tennis racket and dance around. There was no way I could ever have been like that around my abuser and I´m happy I got the chance.

I know what you mean though. People always seemed worried when they heard about me living in seclusion. Maybe it wasn´t very healthy. But that doesn´t matter to me now because the memories of me playing are the good ones.

I learned a lot of inner strength. I think one of the hardest aspects of my PTSD has been losing faith in myself. I always relied on myself as the one constant amidst constant change.

Same here. I have a very hard time trusting people and letting them help me with things that are difficult for me. Always handled it on my own.

 

[Deleted member 20978]

I like the cabin image :)

 

[Upside Down Eagle]

I think I have an actual picture of it but I don´t want to derail the thread. Unless @Fadeaway is okay with me posting it.

 

[Fadeaway]

That would be totally awesome, post away.

 

[Fadeaway]

From the ages of 5-10 was my biggest period of isolation but I wasn't being abused during that time, just severe neglect from my grandparents who felt forced to take me in against their will, so they had as little interaction with me as possible. The abuse was prior to 5 when I lived with my parents and then 11 and up when my uncle moved in.

 

[Upside Down Eagle]

It was my sanctuary. We lived in a trailer for a while, then moved on to the cabin, then eventually my dad build a house. He lived in the house and I lived here (because my dad and I could not get along at all).

From the ages of 5-10 was my biggest period of isolation but I wasn't being abused during that time, just severe neglect from my grandparents who felt forced to take me in against their will, so they had as little interaction with me as possible. The abuse was prior to 5 when I lived with my parents and then 11 and up when my uncle moved in.

I´m sorry to hear that. It´s awful when you live with people that don´t really want you around.

 

[Fadeaway]

Oh wow, the wood itself if strikingly beautiful.

 

[Deleted member 20978]

@Radise I see the drawing mannequin. I've got one too. Isolation wasn't all bad -- I'm not up for sharing details today -- it's when I made music and drew and read and watched movies no adult should have allowed me to watch.

@Fadeaway there's no unlike button. Which is lame to say too. Don't know what to say, but I am glad you are around. You're in my tribe methinks.

 

[Born to Run]

It´s awful when you live with people that don´t really want you around.

This is a very interesting sentence, it made me think. I was literally unwanted from conception till leaving the house to study. Active attempts to kill me starting before birth, severe neglect, and later psychological killing. Being unwelcome is my standard perception of households with abusers. However, this is maybe highly naive. As your sentence implies something I have not realised. Can you live with abusers and feel welcome at the same time?