Anyone Else Sometimes Scared To Shower?

[Heatherwilso8]

I'm new here, but I was surprised when I read the title of this because I was certain I was in some strange category of human being because I hate showering and generally just getting undressed. It's been a source of great embarrassment and shame because yes, sometimes I think I smell, and I know for certain my therapist notices.

But I too am often scared and have to try to force myself to shower at some point.

 

[Fadeaway]

Yes, this is a huge issue for me. Putting my head under water where I can't here if someone is in the house? The vulnerability of being unclothed? Yup.

 

[desiderata310]

He would stand guard whenever he felt one of us were in a vulnerable position. (Using the toilet, in the shower, getting dressed, under a car, half in a closet reorganizing it, etc.)

Charlie does this. It's the reason I can calmly take a shower/poo/whatever. He's rarely much more than a few feet away unless I've let him out to play for a few. Honestly hadn't thought about how soothing that is until I read that.

I still search my very tiny house on entering and other odd times.

 

[Deleted member 40995]

My stepdad used to come in when I was in the shower. Before him, my other stepdad would "help me" in the...

I start freaking out in the shower, my abusive cousin used to watch me etc. and I get an error feeling like he is trying to grab me, I can't explain why the shower specifically makes me feel that way but yes, I feel that way too. I have actually started shrieking before because I got so scared

 

[Khaleesi]

I am not particularly scared to shower, but I do have OCD and sometimes showering is a nightmare. I'm much better now, but there was a dark time when I would spend 2, 3 hours cleaning myself - once I spent the whole night in the bathroom, because I couldn't get all of my "tasks" done correctly. So, now I am in this weird period where I don't get as much stressed out as before, but the fear of not being able to take a quick shower and the fear of going through all of that once again makes me weak when I get home from work or when I am not in a good day.

 

[roaringrachel]

I second the idea of showering fully clothed or even a bathing suit if you can. It's something that's really helped me when flashbacks get really bad. Also blasting music so so loud so that you are forced to concentrate on it. Covering up mirrors so you don't have to look at yourself (if that's an issue for you, it was for me).

 

[2Beachboxer]

Such a cool topic! Thot I was alone too. Bad keeboard here so excuse spelling/missing letters. I stopped because I kept 'disappearing' in m head and then all of a sudden be standing in the cold water. Better now, seldom shower! lol Babee Powder works great in m hair, washcloth bath w/ soap n water , flushable wipes work well. Have no idea wh this happens? Have been told OFTEN not to dig..so I let things come as the will, and deal with one at a time. Now I just work on accepting what is w/o judgement and let bodee memories come..mabee thats what happens in shower?

 

[Tinyflame]

I know I'm super-relaxed if I don't have to fully dress before I leave the bathroom, leave naked or only with a towel. It happens as often as an eclipse. :( Being single that's ok but with a partner would be a frightening thing to overcome.

 

[Deleted member 40995]

I just want to say how good it is to know I'm not the only one who struggles with this, I thought I was the only one afraid of this

 

[Fadeaway]

Also blasting music so so loud so that you are forced to concentrate on it.

I could never do that. I get so paranoid about someone breaking in while I am in the shower I need to be able to listen as much as I can. I have reason for that fear though as it happened to a neighbor of mine ten or so years back.

 

[Deleted member 42433]

I'm scared of showers and getting wet in general. Too many intrusive thoughts.

 

[recoveringfromptsd]

There were many years where I would only take baths, never a shower. I still have never gotten over fear in showers, I know where mine shower problem comes from, initially I had problems with not being able to be that vulnerable due to being raped by a staff member at a place called EHS, and systemic abuse there, then I was gang raped in a shower at a shelter. So for many years I sometimes stank when I could not clean up other ways because I would not shower. I shower these days but only in my own space when I feel safe. I can't handle anything that would make me feel vulnerable.\

I hate what others have done to us that we even need this website, that our minds live in fear of abuse based on past abuse. It is like someone has taken an egg beater to my brain intentionally to make sure I am all mixed up. Life is never the same for any of us after the abuses we experience.

I am left with just tolerating life. It's a sad way to exist.