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Appropriate Amounts of Emotion

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OceanSpray

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Sometimes I’m a masochist and do some research into history. Or, like tonight I come across a very interesting Reddit thread of history that was too informative and incredible to pass up. But it contained an exorbitant amount of accounts of humans being worse than human. The most vile nightmare inducing tales of atrocities kept hidden away.

I feel so so so deeply right now for millions of people who suffered. To the point I’m actually sick and frankly having some SI thoughts because I don’t want to be a part of a world like this.

On the other hand, other things happen- let’s say a report of another person murdered a few towns over and I really don’t feel anything. But I feel like I should. Because someone lost their life and how horrible is it to be so apathetic to not acknowledge the gravity of that.


I feel like I swing on this pendulum when it comes to the horrible parts of the world. I either feel nothing or I feel way, way too much. I can manage my emotions on just about everything else at this point. But with this I just can’t seem to find an appropriate middle ground.

Has anyone been able to do that?
 
I really don’t feel anything. But I feel like I should. Because someone lost their life and how horrible is it to be so apathetic to not acknowledge the gravity of that.

61 MILLION people died last year.

You feel bad, shattered, want to die yourself for the loss they create in your life, and will think of each and every single one of them, for the rest of your life, every moment of every day? I would hope not.

Because that would be insane.

Blaming yourself for NOT feeling that? Also insane. Just in a different kind of way. That I hope you realize and back away from. Fast.
 
It's farther away and therefore safer to have emotion for.
Not physical location, from reality.
You're an empathetic person but in the present you have to guard your emotion. In the past you can let yourself feel because it effects your here an now, not at all.

Just a, theory I have.

Also, acknowledgement of tragedy doesnt require emotion.
 
Sometimes I’m a masochist and do some research into history. Or, like tonight I come across a very interesting Reddit thread of history that was too informative and incredible to pass up. But it contained an exorbitant amount of accounts of humans being worse than human. The most vile nightmare inducing tales of atrocities kept hidden away.I

I feel so so so deeply right now for millions of people who suffered. To the point I’m actually sick and frankly having some SI thoughts because I don’t want to be a part of a world like this.

On the other hand, other things happen- let’s say a report of another person murdered a few towns over and I really don’t feel anything. But I feel like I should. Because someone lost their life and how horrible is it to be so apathetic to not acknowledge the gravity of that.


I feel like I swing on this pendulum when it comes to the horrible parts of the world. I either feel nothing or I feel way, way too much. I can manage my emotions on just about everything else at this point. But with this I just can’t seem to find an appropriate middle ground.

Has anyone been able to do that?
I have learned that there are certain things that I cannot handle emotionally, like world news, and I have learned to stay away from them for the most part. It's hard when it interests you, but not worth hurting yourself for it.
 
if loving history (herstory, too) makes a masochist, do i need to invest in some chains and whips for hub-a-lub to use on me? the chains and whips i use on him are entirely to girlie for his taste.

attempted humor aside. . .

the biggest problem with history is that it is written by writers and writers come in a large variety. some move me more than others. some just gag me with their silver spoons. others trigger me into the nether worlds of PTSD, etc.

i cope with these emotional gyrations similar to how i cope with my irrational reactions to fiction, philosophy, et al. if the material at hand is taking me mean places, i put it down and take a therapy break. if follow whatever path the therapy break leads me to. there are places in history, (herstory, too) where i cannot go and maintain my emotional stability.
 
There’s some things that really throw me. War is one of them. It doesn’t take much to make me a complete bawling mess when confronted with that, and how awful humans can be to each other.

Knowing that means I can exercise some control over my exposure to things that will really upset me.

The flip side is I’m also easily moved by the amazing kindness that humans can show to each other. And I go out of my way to expose myself to that, because it uplifts my soul, my mood, my motivation. All good things.

Two sides, same coin.
 
There’s some things that really throw me. War is one of them. It doesn’t take much to make me a complete bawling mess when confronted with that, and how awful humans can be to each other.

Knowing that means I can exercise some control over my exposure to things that will really upset me.

The flip side is I’m also easily moved by the amazing kindness that humans can show to each other. And I go out of my way to expose myself to that, because it uplifts my soul, my mood, my motivation. All good things.

Two sides, same coin.
If only there were a newspaper that only published heartwarming stories.
 
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