Recovery4Me
VIP Member
@Cashew for post #24 :tup: Awesome expression!
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As I Fall Asleep
- Post starter shimmerz
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Why thank you. ;) I'm still looking for a better one. Have lots to say on the subject, just words are still lacking.
Born to Run
Platinum Member
I can relate to these feelings a lot. In my case these were related to what happened in bed to me as a baby, which were at least three attempts of murder, the last one I remembered quite recently and was so early in life that it nearly killed me. Since these memories are processed I no longer have feelings in bed of losing me, losing control, losing my mind, falling into something deep, which were all panic states of the baby, who was stuck in the process of almost dying, already losing consciousness.
I know it is awful to have these feelings come up during the night. Take care.
I know it is awful to have these feelings come up during the night. Take care.
Digz
Gold Member
Yes, I suffer issues as I'm drifting off to sleep also. There's this absolute terror, but no flashbacks. It seems to be just as I'm falling into an unconscious state - just as I'm about to enter sleep and lose control. I've always theorised about it but never really known exactly what it is. I had once thought maybe it was related to that lack of control in that moment. I have also wondered if it was related to nightmares I couldn't remembered and a fear of sleep. I also wondered if it was related to the fact that some of my trauma happened when I was woken from sleep. None of this is actually an answer - just to say, I know how you feel. I will often jolt from this state and let out a scream before I realise what's happening. It provokes so much terror, but I haven't had a nightmare or a flashback.
You know those falling dreams that all people have sometimes? I think of it as a bit like that - except a falling dream on PTSD steroids.
You know those falling dreams that all people have sometimes? I think of it as a bit like that - except a falling dream on PTSD steroids.
Digz
Gold Member
Just found this, which I found interesting in possibly explaining my issues when falling asleep, don't know if it might help others...
"(Those with PTSD) might feel the need to maintain a high level of vigilance, which can make sleep difficult."
"Hypnagogic jerks refer to involuntary bodily twitches, movements, or muscular jolts that occur during the transition from wakefulness to a sleeping state. Most people are thought to experience them just moments before entering the first stage of sleep."
"Some speculate that hypnagogic jerks are a mechanism that allows your brain to decide whether it truly wants to sleep, or whether it should remain alert and wake up. Without the jerk, you would drift off into a sleeping state without having the option of remaining awake."
"The hypnagogic jerks may serve as a reminder to double-check your environment for potential predators prior to falling asleep."
There seems to be some suggestions that those with PTSD are more susceptible, or may experience hypnic jerks more often.
It makes me wonder, for me at least, if this is to do with my brain reminding me to check for potential threats prior to sleep, like is theorised. I guess, in the case of PTSD it would make sense that we would need to check for threats more vigilantly and could explain that feeling of terror as drifting off, because we know the consequence if a predator is looming.
This appears to be all theoretical, however.
"(Those with PTSD) might feel the need to maintain a high level of vigilance, which can make sleep difficult."
"Hypnagogic jerks refer to involuntary bodily twitches, movements, or muscular jolts that occur during the transition from wakefulness to a sleeping state. Most people are thought to experience them just moments before entering the first stage of sleep."
"Some speculate that hypnagogic jerks are a mechanism that allows your brain to decide whether it truly wants to sleep, or whether it should remain alert and wake up. Without the jerk, you would drift off into a sleeping state without having the option of remaining awake."
"The hypnagogic jerks may serve as a reminder to double-check your environment for potential predators prior to falling asleep."
There seems to be some suggestions that those with PTSD are more susceptible, or may experience hypnic jerks more often.
It makes me wonder, for me at least, if this is to do with my brain reminding me to check for potential threats prior to sleep, like is theorised. I guess, in the case of PTSD it would make sense that we would need to check for threats more vigilantly and could explain that feeling of terror as drifting off, because we know the consequence if a predator is looming.
This appears to be all theoretical, however.
katz
Platinum Member
I used to have a terrible problem falling asleep--even if I was alone. I would just lay there waiting for something to happen. I created a list of songs, but just the music. All very soothing, but familiar also. I have it on just barely enough to hear. Then I have something to listen to while I try to fall asleep. Then if I wake up, I hear pleasant and familiar music. I can then look around the room and reassure myself that I'm safe and home-and grown up, then I can go back to sleep. By having it up by my head, I know that I can also just reach up and turn it off quickly if I choose too, during the night. I just have to remember to recharge my ipod when I get home, so it is ready when I go to bed. I have about 60 songs on the list so that if I leave it on all night, it is still running in the morning.
I've always been. "Twitcher" my late wife always used to be in at me for twitching, just before I fell asleep.
Now that I'm alone, I still twitch, but have started listening to talking books when I go to bed, and I've found that they work.
Mind you, I'm like you, and often woken up finding that I've fallen asleep with it on, and found the ear peaces in the pillow, usually leaving marks on my face, and the CD player has switched itself off.
Only problem is, I have to search and find where I left off on the disc, and that takes ages?
Now that I'm alone, I still twitch, but have started listening to talking books when I go to bed, and I've found that they work.
Mind you, I'm like you, and often woken up finding that I've fallen asleep with it on, and found the ear peaces in the pillow, usually leaving marks on my face, and the CD player has switched itself off.
Only problem is, I have to search and find where I left off on the disc, and that takes ages?
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