Childhood At what age should children stop showering with a parent?

[In Exile]

I lived in Japan for many, many years and fathers will bath with their kids until the kids don't want to. That typically is about 9 to 12 depending on the kids. I agree that it's the intent rather than the action.

 

[hymnless]

Yeah so I finally got the guts to tell my therapist about this today. She confirmed that this was not appropriate behaviour given the circumstances. So. Ugh. Either way, I appreciate all the feedback, guys.

 

[katz]

I don't even know how to answer but, your post brings back memories of being in the shower with my fa...

Sweetleaf, thanks for saying that the way you did. I have memories of being in the shower with my dad also. I avoided the shower for years and would only take baths. I'm still nervous when taking a shower, even now. I always lock the door, and I'm always on red alert for noises.

 

[TruthSeeker]

Not as straightforward as you’d think. Varies a whole helluva lot by culture & subculture.

My family?...

I think it depends on the culture, the family norms, and whether parents had a reputation for boundary setting.

My X husband would take his daughter at 5 - and age 6 and take a bath with her when she came for visitation. He’d always lock the door. He didn’t bath with his 6 year old son, but always with his daughter.
His mother and I both told him it was inappropriate. He shortly thereafter stopped- at least in our presence. My step daughter as an adult can’t recall her childhood. In my opinion, she was too old to be taking a bath with her father- American culture- and norms.
He has no business hanging his genitals at her eye level in the bathroom and making her feel comfortable being naked with a man at this age-this is not normal in our culture. We teach stranger danger at 3-4. We teach zones of no touch. While in Japan do as the Japanese do- take a SOLO shower and get clean then the whole family hops in the family bathtub for a communal bath- quite appropriate for that culture and an expected behavior/custom when visiting a family in Japan, it is not a norm in the US. I think it is a form of boundary crossing-and sending mixed messages- even if nothing happens directly in the bathroom during the bath.

He could remain clothed- help her wash and rinse her hair if need be or have asked his mother or me to bath her. He would not allow this.