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Attachment Issues

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Springer, my attachment problems are directly related to the Ps; the adult wants to, the child runs, or sometimes the other way round - the child attaches almost violently - latches - and the adult resists. If the two could just work together ...
 
Oh my goodness.....I spent the afternoon feeling woozy and struggling with something and I came up with a drawing....scanning it now. This is gonna SPOOK YOU OUT!!! :wideeyed:
 
Physical issues: The adult can't stand physical contact, and experiences it as an unpleasant sensation bouncing around the surface. The child needs physical contact desperately but is deeply affected by it - too much, too deeply, and someone who doesn't know what's going on, like the school counselor, can only make a mess. And so the adult does not allow the child any physical contact. But this is only half of it, and somehow I can't explain the other half.
 
Meet the EP 10.webp
 
Intellect connected to desire (what is the desire box?) (ANP)
Heart and belly (EP)

What are the things under the Belly box?

Belly = solar plexus or abdomen?

Do you mind answering these questions?
 
Ok, I realise it is an organ, not a 'box'. I ask about the solar plexus because that is always an immediate cue for me that the EP is present, or rather, taking over.

ANP: Yes, totally 'in my head'.

This is like a map, Springer. Spooked, yes.

For me the only mystery is desire, as I've lost mine.
 
You'll have o excuse me cos I'm on my second BIG glass of red!!

The things underneath the belly box are anchors. This is the one I can definitely place and feel the intensity of it's resistance.

The heart is me struggling with the EP emotions to dislodged the one in my belly. The other cross piece is the grown me (not the ANP) but the real me and on one end of it is what I know and feel I'm capable of and on the other end is the struggle to resolve the problem. I don't feel as definite about the placement/representation of these as the first 'jack'.

It is this constant pull and resistance and frustration that is my CFS/Dissociative incapacitation.
 
Belly = solar plexus or abdomen?
In this instance this is the abdomen, the gripping fist I mentioned earlier was at the solar plexus.

I ask about the solar plexus because that is always an immediate cue for me that the EP is present, or rather, taking over.
The gripping fist felt to me like the resistance in the way of the 'belly box' .

ANP: Yes, totally 'in my head'.
No I don't mean ANP, I mean me.
 
The word 'anchors' did come up before you posted, as I thought about how my EP stays, and keeps me, in a physical, geographical location. Not only does she not speak, she does not move, and she is red, as if having the thinnest of skins, hardly a membrane (hence the physical contact issue).

Ok, now I understand the jack, and the leverage. Mmmmm.
 
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