I think what is commonly misunderstood is the term "attachment". By those who are preoccupied. Just because it says "attachment" doesn't mean the person is easily so called attached or that the opposite doesn't affect life.
One horrible realisation for me was that I had more or less achieved the level of healing I could achieve - by myself. Not in absolute sense of course. But in a larger sense. And yet, despite me being able to send out " I am connecting signals" to get through general life, and despite caring about people, I have difficulties letting people close to me and that, of course, means therapy is tricky, at the least. I don't tend to blame others for my stuff or act out but I am blocked from many things in life.
If I have to list in order the things that impede my final ability to flourish in life it would be: dissociation, this stuff, and ptsd. I have largely dealt with dissociation which I believe was my most predominant most long lasting issue, and in order to deal with the rest of my PTSD I need to finally be able to manage the issues discussed here. Hence this being the thing I have predominantly worked on for the last 3 years. Not in the sense of an attachment disorder. Rather in a sense of looking at other people receiving help. What that looks like. What is trustworthy and what isn't. ??? And trying to work through the discomfort of changing very entrenched patterns and belief. And living with the shame of how dysfunctional I feel when I push against old patterns. The irony is that I appeared much more functional before at times. Much more rational. I was more rational. Pushing against this is deregulating. Being honest about it rather than keeping the veneer of functionality is shaming. But I now want more. I care more about that than the rest. I am in an uncomfortable flux space.
There was a time when saying anything other than "I am fine" was a torturous experience and although I can't say that is in the past it is receding just a bit. Not by itself but rather with a ridiculous amount of very painful "work".
Figuring out what is trustworthy and what I SHOULD see as trustworthy is another obviously related issue. One that I am sure will ultimately drive me ... to where I do not want to end. I am so sick of it all but will have to suck it up and continue.