Being Alone As It Relates To Being Alone Without Help With Past Abuse

[recoveringfromptsd]

Until 20 years ago, I was alone most of the time, and I never did well, was in hospital a lot. Then I moved and since i have always lived with someone. Until recently when my sister died 10 days or so ago, and now I find myself alone again, and I am realizing that being alone is being extremely traumatic to me, I am beginning to understand that it likely relates to how I felt when I was in my abuse and there was no one to help me. I was alone in that sense.

 

[FauxLiz]

@recoveringfromptsd I am sorry to hear about your sister. Being alone can be tough. For the past 11 years I get the experience of being alone when my kids spend time with their father. We live several states apart so they used to go for a week at a time during the holidays and then basically all of summer vacation. Now that they are older the visits are fewer and shorter but I also realize that my son will leave for college in about 18 months and them I am completely alone. I rarely leave the house except for work, grocery shopping and my sons activities when he is gone it will just be work and groceries.

I know that being alone can be scary for me it sounds like it is for you as well. Maybe now would be a good time to consider a pet of some sort. I don't know what your living situation allows but pets can help make things seem not so empty. I hope that you are getting out of the house some even if it is just for a short walk to the corner.

 

[recoveringfromptsd]

@FauxLiz I do have a pet, a cat who actually takes care of me. If I did not have her, I probably would be unable to cope right now at all. I am not sure I can handle this alone for an extended period of time.

 

[FauxLiz]

@recoveringfromptsd I am glad to hear that you have a cat they really can help. I don't remember if you are seeing a T right now or not but if so maybe they can help you talk through the people are in your life that can help fill the void your sister left. I am certain that no one person can fill all the holes but help you to recognize the strengths you have in current relationships with people. It could be someone that you sit next to regularly at church is someone to help with rides to and from and maybe a meal afterwards. Someone in a group you are in has a similar hobby that you could spend time together working on. I have my job but no one here I am close too but hopefully some of these suggestions ease things a bit.

 

[Thinkbig]

I am beginning to understand that it likely relates to how I felt when I was in my Abuse and there was no one to help me

I get this. I'm sorry your having to process loss at the same time this is coming up. It's a positive thing that you can see this connection to the past though. Maybe separating the past from present will help take away the strength of the emotions now...

 

[recoveringfromptsd]

A lot has changed, friday a week from last week, mt PDOC and T where considering EPing me (Emer Place) in hospital because of my S/I and planning, but we settled on PHP (partial hospitalization) as the alternative, my abuse therapist has my EDMR path on hold, my DBT has been put on hold until I get out of PHP, Finances are a wreck as half of the household income is now gone. So I need someone to share my place to help make up for the financial loss, and i have the usual hassles associated with an even like this.

I am having to distract almost all the time to stop myself from thinking about joining her.