Boundaries Violation (Mom)

[Marie E.]

I haven't been here in a while, but felt a strong urge to come back. Anyways, this is about me living with my uncle (owns place) and my toxic mother.
My mother violates my boundaries. Latest one is her coming home from work, I wake up in the middle of the night (midnight or past) and she has the lights on, TV. I sleep on a couch bed in the living room. I cannot sleep this way, she refuses to turn things off and respect my sleep. (There are only 2 rooms).
i understand if she needs to cook a quick meal or put things away, but she has a habit of staying up and then sleeping in a lot. I told my uncle, he doesn't stand up to her much. She hardly listens to me.
I just need some advice of how to cope. I am going to look into hud housing, saving my money, getting back on antidepressants. I may even see a therapist. I just feel all alone and came out of a bad situation late of August.
I would write in my diary, but I'm waiting to have it reopened, sent message. Sorry to whine folks! I tend to wear ear plugs or ear buds with a sleep mask, but it can only do so much. I get triggered if I don't get my sleep and sometimes I get flashbacks from being around my mom. Thanks for your time!
Marie

 

[IceQueencop]

@Marie E. - sorry to hear your having these troubles. I have flashbacks when I don’t get enough sleep, too.
The passive-aggressive side of me wants to tell you to take the lightbulbs out of the lamp and unplug the TV, but maybe she’ll just be digging around trying to figure out why stuff doesn’t work. ?
If you have the option of changing your schedule so that you aren’t sleeping until she gets home, and sleeping in with her, that might help, but that may be a luxury you don’t have.
Getting your own place is probably your best bet. Maybe you can get a therapist to help you with that.
Best, IQC

 

[Invisible Fire]

Not getting enough sleep can be difficult. Sorry that your mom does not respect your boundaries and needs. Glad you felt safe and comfortable to share what your going through here. Sounds like you are doing al the right things. Saving and looking into hud. And wearing earplugs and an eye mask. I don’t have any suggestions but wanted to know we are listening

 

[Marie E.]

Thanks @IceQueencop and @Invisible Fire : I have been straight with my mom concerning her behavior, hopefully she will keep her word. I have left a message and Email for Hud as I have previously used them. I also bought 25 mg zzquil capsules. The other sleep aid was not so good. This one works better.