Hello and thank you for letting me join your forum. I've been reading a number of threads but non of them quite hit on what I'm going through.
I've been with my boyfriend for 2.5 years. We both got together after being in long relationships (8 years each) but, his relationship was much rougher than mine with infidelities, manipulation, and mental abuse.
About 2 weeks ago he began to have violent nightmares (and sexual nightmares) about his Ex Girlfriend and would even become violent to me while he was asleep yelling or shoving me. When I tried to talk it out he would stonewall me, emotionally shut down while I broke down in front of him, and would make snappy unwelcome comments.
The next day he couldn't even remember the whole incident, just blocked it out, but he finally agreed to see a therapist (This has happened 3 times in the past 2 years).
We were in a good relationship, we talked about marriage, children, buying a home, we live together and have put a lot of work into our condo, and I thought he was going to propose to me this June on a vacation we had planned...
My life has been turned upside down as he's pushing me away, telling me he loves me but never at the level he should have, maybe not at all, that anytime we were together sexually he was uncomfortable, that he keeps thinking about his ex girlfriend.
I don't understand where all of this is coming from. My only will to hold on is because I believe something is seriously wrong and he needs some medical attention. He's seems depressed with life as a whole and I can't take these statements as true. It's like he's forgotten everything about us....
He says he feels bad for what I'm going through but that he doesn't actually feel anything. And that he doesn't want to not be thinking about his ex but she keeps coming into his mind.
I made the mistake of suggesting he try to tie up lose ends with her and she immediately started trying to make him come back into her life. He agreed to cut ties with her again while we see a counselor.
We live together and I'm trying to be supportive. I have him talk to me and I make sure not to get upset so that he's comfortable letting me know what he's going through. But it tears me apart inside to hear that the last 2.5 years seem lost on him...
Could this be PTSD?
What can I do to be more supportive?
And what can I do to keep myself together to be supportive?
I love him, and I want a family with him, I feel like the person I've fallen in love with is gone and a shell remains....
Please help.
I've been with my boyfriend for 2.5 years. We both got together after being in long relationships (8 years each) but, his relationship was much rougher than mine with infidelities, manipulation, and mental abuse.
About 2 weeks ago he began to have violent nightmares (and sexual nightmares) about his Ex Girlfriend and would even become violent to me while he was asleep yelling or shoving me. When I tried to talk it out he would stonewall me, emotionally shut down while I broke down in front of him, and would make snappy unwelcome comments.
The next day he couldn't even remember the whole incident, just blocked it out, but he finally agreed to see a therapist (This has happened 3 times in the past 2 years).
We were in a good relationship, we talked about marriage, children, buying a home, we live together and have put a lot of work into our condo, and I thought he was going to propose to me this June on a vacation we had planned...
My life has been turned upside down as he's pushing me away, telling me he loves me but never at the level he should have, maybe not at all, that anytime we were together sexually he was uncomfortable, that he keeps thinking about his ex girlfriend.
I don't understand where all of this is coming from. My only will to hold on is because I believe something is seriously wrong and he needs some medical attention. He's seems depressed with life as a whole and I can't take these statements as true. It's like he's forgotten everything about us....
He says he feels bad for what I'm going through but that he doesn't actually feel anything. And that he doesn't want to not be thinking about his ex but she keeps coming into his mind.
I made the mistake of suggesting he try to tie up lose ends with her and she immediately started trying to make him come back into her life. He agreed to cut ties with her again while we see a counselor.
We live together and I'm trying to be supportive. I have him talk to me and I make sure not to get upset so that he's comfortable letting me know what he's going through. But it tears me apart inside to hear that the last 2.5 years seem lost on him...
Could this be PTSD?
What can I do to be more supportive?
And what can I do to keep myself together to be supportive?
I love him, and I want a family with him, I feel like the person I've fallen in love with is gone and a shell remains....
Please help.
