Sufferer Broken And Its So Visible

[Bronte]

I posted this in the hugs section also but I felt it worked well as a introduction about myself also. I called into work because I can't bare anyone seeing me. My boyfriend of 5 years is contemplating breaking up with me because he doesn't know if I'm good for him anymore even though he loves me very much and wants a life with me. I'm broke, I have no drive, I keep gaining weight from stress eating. I'm starting out with a new doctor and they took me off effexor er 187.5 mg daily because i said it wasn't working as well as it used to and I wondered since I kept needing to increase the dose every month or so if it was really the right meds for me. Sooooo now they moved me to zoloft 100mg and weened me off effexor which made me feel god awful with symptoms and this zoloft isn't doing anything but make me feel like not getting out of bed. They have me on nightmare meds and vistarill for panic attacks but I need it daily now. I can't work. I can't deal with my relationship problems and I have no idea where or who I am anymore. All I do know is he is the one person that gives me the strength to persevere and I can't lose him. He's been in his home town over the weekend thinking and is coming back in a couple hours to discuss everything with me and I'm freaking out. I don't want to fly of the handle and seem crazy but thats all I am right now. I need some insight and a hug. I just found this website last week and this is my first post. I don't know if this is the right section or not. Background on me is I'm a 23 y/o female, c-PTSD recently diagnosed in the last year. I had a abusive childhood sexually, physically, and mentally by alcoholic parents, family members and anyone that saw me. Raped at 14 by friends father at a sleepover then got into car wreck later that week and miscarried haven't been able to drive since. Raped again while sleeping at 19 by a boss that roommate had over to drink with. Probably a lost cause and I don't know what to do anymore. I had coworkers sexually assaulted me and I actually spoke up and now their "handling" it but giving me less and less shifts trying to get me to quit. I'm trying really hard to not shut down but feel like I'm sinking.

 

[Deleted member 28403]

Welcome to the discussions :hug: I trust this place helps you. It's extremely helpful in light of the mass measure of individuals who feel comparative and get it. There is a considerable measure of guidance and backing to be found here :) I hope this astounding group helps you as much as it helped me, understanding all the comparable stories, and taking in a ton along the way. Hugs if you accept :hug:

 

[void]

Welcome @Bronte :happy:

Hugs to you and compassion for what you are suffering.:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

You will find understanding and kindness here.

We have all been in crisis before as you are now.

We are glad you have found us.

We will listen and be supportive.:hug:

 

[Tinyflame]

Hi @Bronte welcome to you. :)

 

[Bronte]

Thank you I hope this all helps

 

[tree]

My prayers are with you Bronte.

 

[Missycat]

Hi again Bronte,
Sorry to see what you are going through, i really hope you are able to sit down and talk to your partner and that he supports you. Re your employers, is there a Human Resources / Employee Relations team who can help you and you can report your treatment to? That should not be happening.
Good to see you have added your post as discussed in chat. This will allow more people to see it and be able to share thier experiences and thoughts , maybe advice.
Sending :hug: s and wish you all the best on your journey.
MC

 

[EveHarrington]

Hi Bronte,

Welcome!

:hug:
:hug:
:hug:

Are you currently in treatment? I ask as I think that having a therapist is quite important when we're very symptomatic as it can take some of the strain off of our personal relationships.

I'm glad you've joined the forum. :)

 

[intothelight]

Welcome to the forum! :)