Can You Dissociate For Days?

[falling]

I am having such trouble remembering parts of my day/week and certain conversations. I tell repeat stories and repeat things at work only to find that I have already done these things/told those stories. I am constantly feeling like I'm not really present in my body and that I'm on auto-drive. I don't really listen during conversations and I can't seem to finish my sentences.

People are telling me that I'm really spacey lately and I just can't remember large parts of my day. I catch myself in a daze and can't remember what I was thinking about. I'm pretty sure this is dissociation but I'm confused because I am like this most of the time. I'm only "half" here and I don't know how to stop it.

It's so embarrassing because I'mm often mix up my words and not even notice it. So, I often don't make sense. It's frustrating and it makes me think I'm going crazy.

My question is this-Is is possible to be in a dissociate state for hours/days? Can that cause you to mix up words/sayings or even slur speech?

And what do you do to control it?

 

[jd9900]

Wow can I relate. I can often go days as though I am living not one life but a different one. Often it is a result of my tireless desire to write and as such....well let's just say I can close my eyes and create a universe so wonderful I want to share it with others, and sometimes I try so hard that fiction and reality blur their lines.

I speak a few different languages. Sometimes I wake up, not even able to remember what I am dreaming about, but I am talking to myself in Latin. It's pretty insane.

I don't control it...rather, I should say, I don't try to control it anymore. I just accept I have a....weird way about me in that regard. To go back to one of my favorite songs, I guess I just at some point realized this....

If I can just accept me for all my weird quirks I know I will be better for it in every regard.

 

[franciemarnie]

It could be dissociation. It could be benzos if you are taking them. For sure I would forget entire conversations and repeat the exact same thing under the influence even though I was strictly taking the prescribed amount.

It would be good to rule out the physical with a doctor.

What does your T say?

I would dissociate under extreme stress or when triggered or with sleep deprivation. I try to avoid it by practicing the usual grounding techniques of staying present with the senses and also mindful meditation.

I know it's an awful feeling not to remember. You feel so powerless but hopefully your T can help with solutions too.

 

[Abstract]

I have been like that most of my life and only really realised that it wasn't quite right when I had periods of feeling better. That was a shock.

As @franciemarnie said it is important to look at drug reactions as they can wipe out memory and awareness. Sleep derivation not only increases dissociation but causes memory and attention loss.

But what you describe is very familiar to me and for me it is dissociation. Slurring speech and mixing up words when it comes to dissociation is when I am so not in my body that attempting to control muscle control is clumsy. As well as my level of consciousness being depressed and almost always partially being in a dissociative trance. That means easily distracted, slow reactions, reduced cognition, forgetting what I am doing, saying or where I am. Essentially it makes me feel and seem not very bright. It was a shock when I had periods of not being like that because I realised I wasn't stupid after all.

What can you do to ground yourself and reduce your level of general anxiety? Even if it doesn't feel doable. Remind me if you practice mindfulness?

 

[Notsowild]

@falling ... I understand this very well. I have been in a dissociative state for years. I find myself mixing up words and forgetting conversations. And like @Abstract I feel stupid!

I have to think about doing the grounding techniques or else I'll stay in this state all day

We could help one another get through this. I'm here for you:)

 

[Upside Down Eagle]

Same here, I've been having trouble formulating my sentences correctly as well (when I'm writing it's not that bad :P) or sometimes halfway a conversation I forget what we were talking about (weeeird).

Also I enrolled in a new university, but I had so much trouble remembering the faces and names of my classmates! After four months I still couldn't tell which one was who. Pretty humiliating but not the worst thing that could happen.

This phase will probably pass when you're ready for it. I've had tons of moments of clarity mixed with these phases of confusion. I guess at those times the mind and heart are just too engaged in processing trauma, and need the time.

 

[Kas_Can_Fly]

Every other sentence. I get them mixed up, back-to-front, use the wrong word entirely (e.g. using the word fridge when I actually meant laptop), inside out, and jumbled up. I laugh it off sometimes but it is very frustrating and can get distressing. I also forget words/sentences/topics as well and be having two or three conversations at the same time because I keep switching between them. It means that saying anything takes a very long time. It's a huge part of the reason that I spend so long not talking overall and why I massively prefer texting to phone calls, and messaging online - if you forget what you are talking about it's written down. But I still very frequently forget what the point of what I was saying was. It's part of the reason I often talk around a subject before I get to the point. I also very often repeat myself to different people and the same people again and again.

To control it? I haven't found a way. I do practically nothing, have no social life, cannot work, can't maintain hobbies or educational pursuits. My day is structured but flexible and with nothing that "Needs" to be done as there isn't a hope in hell it'll happen. It's not just procrastination, it's an inability to do it - which sounds stupid to me because I am more than physically capable and I should "just" be able to, but I'm not mentally able to, hopefully soon I'll be able to accept that. That minimises as much as is possible, which isn't much.

 

[falling]

Thank you all, for taking the time to not only read but reply.

I am not taking benzo's-only taking effexor and it has been in my system for months now symptom free.

I'm not seeing a T anymore. I seen several for a few months and then did group counseling at the local sexual assault center. There I learned the changes in the brain that are caused by trauma. It helps as it shows that my brain/mind did what it should and what I'm not left experiencing is normal and there are ways to cope. Those ways are the grounding techniques. Making sure I do self-care. Ugh, which is VERY difficult. I never understood why doing certain self-care would make me feel so guilty and feed to my self hate. But now I understand it and realize it's caused by the years of neglect and lack of real love from my childhood.

Every symptom each of you explained above is EXACTLY what I experience. It's true it makes me feel stupid and I now feel as tho others look at me as if I'm slow or weird. And I don't trust myself to be able to properly communicate with others so I often don't engage in conversation. Which leads me to feeling very alone and isolated. It adds to the concept that I have of there beeing almost two worlds-One that "normal" people live in where the everyday convo of shopping and tv is easy and matters. Then there is the world I live in where the normal everyday convo just doesn't matter so why even speak. In the big scheme of things does it really matter that you found that nail polish color you were looking for? ugh...I dunno if it's my depression of the PTSD or if it's just that I've figured out that life just isn't that great that leads me to view things this way.

Some of the grounding techniques I use are:
-Taking REAL notice of the objects in the room I am in
-play the categories game
-read letters in words backwards and focus on the letter NOT the meaning of the word
-holding an object concentrating on the texture
-focus on my feet and place them directly on the ground
-clench and release my fists
-while eating focus on the different flavors/texture
-breathing exercises
-thinking of the next thing I'm looking forward to(hiking, trip, or even just a cup of tea)
-the 'here and now' exercise-5,4,3,2,1
-following all vertical lines in the room with your eyes
-playing with your hair
-focus on smells
-meditation

And I do practice mindfulness it just gets lost in the everyday responsibilities too often-but I will try harder.

Does anyone have any grounding techniques they find quite helpful to keep dissociating under control?

 

[falling]

Kas_can_fly I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND. I'm right there with you and all the others above. I make the exact same 'mistakes' during speaking. I've started to make a list of the words//saying I mix up----things like I meant to say toothbrush but said spoon, or saying whisper when I meant to say whistle.

It's unforgiving and it has huge power over my self esteem but I'm learning that it is directly connected to PTSD and knowing that it is something that others struggle with, however sad does give me comfort.

Thank God I found this site.

 

[jd9900]

To try to make light of this subject. It's nothing more than a Freudian Slip. It's like saying one thing when you're thinking about your mother. Hehe. :)

 

[Bluerose]

Some meds can cause a serious lack of focus. But yes, I believe it is possible to dissociate for days, months and in some serious cases years. I remember explaining to psych-doc once that I felt like I had just woke up from a long sleep. In not as serious cases, I think it can depend on what is going on around you. Lack of sleep, stress at work or at home can cause long periods of dissociation.

 

[Kas_Can_Fly]

I have both med-free and with meds. In fact I was thinking that it was worse on needs but some time after being off them for some time it's quite profoundly worse off of them. My base dissociation levels are very high.