Can't Seem To Make A Dentist Appointment

[radicalgratitude]

I am overdue for a dentist appointment (basic checkup and cleaning). In the meantime, I have seen my jaw specialist because it is a necessary evil so I know when push comes to shove, I can do it. However, I get body memories of my dad's oral sexual abuse of me during those appointments....hence why I'm avoiding the regular dentist. Plus I always feel guilty because they have to put up with my awful gag reflex.

Does anyone have any advice for dealing with this: both the avoidance and then the actual appointment?

 

[Flyaway]

I think there is a couple of things you can do... Is your dentist female?

1. I would talk with the dental clinic first- if you can have a talk with the actual dentist, all the better! You don't need to tell them exactly what happened, but I think it will help a lot to tell them that you have more anxiety than most people about the dentist because of a past trauma. I would then ask them if its ok you bring in a couple of things to reassure yourself when getting the treatment done... Hopefully they will be the compassionate sort, and will give you reassurance then... So you can make an appointment on the spot :)

2. Think about objects that comfort you or ground you... Choose a few to bring in with you to the dentist. After the nightmare you've endured, you deserve special treatment!!!

3. Leading up to the appointment, I think it would be good to take time to prep by surrounding yourself with these objects and visualising what the dentist will do. Every time it gets scary... Just stop... Reconnect with what makes you feel safe and grounded... And then visualise again.

Hope this helps!!! Thoughts are with you:hug:

 

[radicalgratitude]

Thank you, Flyaway.Those are great ideas.

Is your dentist female?

It's a married couple so it depends. Actually, I don't think it makes a difference for me if it is male or female. A female forced my friends and I to do sexual acts when I was older and I have known a number of safe males. However, if it was a gynecologist, it would have to be female. I still can't do that one with a gentleman. I panicked when they brought in a male nurse aid to fix the stirrups, even though I had a blanket covering me.

 

[graceandhope1241]

I just went through a similar point. I had a dentist appointment and told the hygienist I have a lot of anxiety about being here and that laying on my back for the cleaning is difficult.

She asked me if I had a bad dental experience and told her it was related to other bad eexperiences I've had, she understood and didn't pry. We came up with a plan that she would talk her way through the procedures and check-in with me before each step. Also if I was feeling uncomfortable I would raise my left hand to my chest. Some dentists have let me listen to an iPod in one ear as well.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I'm dealing with the same, only my issue is with making an appointment with someone to help with my tmj/jaw issues. I really need to work on this as the pain is getting worse !

 

[TwoDee2ThreeDee]

I do the music thing - and I let them know that touching the back of my tongue may result in them having a mess to clean up. The communication thing has worked well in the past for me. They watch for signs of anxiety (and that's all that I told them) and won't work on me for an extended period of time.

 

[JustBe]

I didn't sleep last night because today in three hours I have my 1st Dental appointment since 2008 when I had a tooth pulled.

I'm thankful that I have Kira to come with me. I'll be glad when it's over. :nailbiting:

 

[Definitely..maybe]

I've always been a bit of a lurker here and have never commented on anything but I definitely wanted to let everyone know that dentists can even go one step further.

When speaking to the receptionist at my dentist she said they could even give me laughing gas before and during so I was more relaxed and offered to write me a prescription for a relaxant if I didn't already have one!

So definitely ask:)

 

[oMETALo]

I struggle too. Tell them you have high anxiety you don't have to go further than that. Most are very understanding.

The assistant holds my hand (embarrassing I know) and they take it real slow. They constantly stop and ask how I'm doing. They keep my appointments as short as possible. I also can't go alone. My partner has to come with me.

When I first go in they don't do anything for a good ten minutes, just chat to try and help me calm down.

Maybe sedation would help or some form of relaxant? (My medication phobia means thats a no-no for me.)

 

[llv88]

I too avoid the dentist as much as possible. Last time I had to go, I found one that has experience with people with trauma, and I explained I had a dx of PTSD and he was super great about it, even told the assistant to watch my neck area and getting too close (making me feel too claustrophobic) because I have a trauma history. He offered a relaxer (which I took) that just calmed my nerves, didn't put me out. He also suggested bringing something in that is soothing, like a blanket it I'd like. Even though he was very understanding and workable, I still can't seem to become a regular patient. I'm glad to see this is common among people with history of trauma. I'm also glad to see there are actually providers out there who understand and are patient.