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Invisible Fire

MyPTSD Pro
Good morning. How is everyone doing? I had an eye opening therapy session that I am trying to process. I shared some pieces of my story with my therapist. And something that I thought no one would ever understand, he understood. I see that healing and processing is possible. I've always said that wellness is inside of us and I am seeing that on a different level now. Very tearful and seeing things in this light is painful but, I believe it is growing/healing pains. Grieving for so many lost things. I hope everyone is doing well.
I miss chatting with @Survivor3 @Rani G and others of course. I don't mean to leave anyone out.
 

Survivor3

MyPTSD Pro
Hi @Invisible Fire, yes pain is a part of healing but it sounds like you are making very positive progress. So glad to hear my friend. I'm ok. Just got back from a walk in the park and coffee with the recovery group. I have arranged a medication review for next week with the gp docter. Yesterday I took an extra anti depressant and regretted it by the evening when it kicked in. Oh well, live and learn! One day at a time. Hugs 😊
 

Lionheart

Sponsor
Good Morning @Invisible Fire I am so happy to hear your good news!!! Healing/growth hurts sometimes but it is so worth it!!!

How am I? I am still kicking just not very high. ;blank; Actually, I am starting to wake up from the caramel coffee I've been nursing for the past hour. but beyond that, I just joined a grief support group and It looks very promising.

As you may know, I lost several family members and it has been difficult for me (especially around this time of year). but things are looking up.


oops, Hello @Survivor3 sorry, I almost missed you!!! Happy that you are doing ok!!
 

Survivor3

MyPTSD Pro
Good Morning @Invisible Fire I am so happy to hear your good news!!! Healing/growth hurts sometimes but it is so worth it!!!

How am I? I am still kicking just not very high. ;blank; Actually, I am starting to wake up from the caramel coffee I've been nursing for the past hour. but beyond that, I just joined a grief support group and It looks very promising.

As you may know, I lost several family members and it has been difficult for me (especially around this time of year). but things are looking up.


oops, Hello @Survivor3 sorry, I almost missed you!!! Happy that you are doing ok!!
Hiya @Lionheart that's great news about the grief support group. 😊
 

Changing4Best

MyPTSD Pro
Hi everyone, I'm off work for a few days, because my client is in another state visiting her son. So I got some extra shut-eye. I'm doing some laundry... I did have an appointment with my new T. He chews gum during my session with him. I don't like this. I was afraid to say anything. Now I am kicking myself for being silent on this.
 

Survivor3

MyPTSD Pro
Hi everyone, I'm off work for a few days, because my client is in another state visiting her son. So I got some extra shut-eye. I'm doing some laundry... I did have an appointment with my new T. He chews gum during my session with him. I don't like this. I was afraid to say anything. Now I am kicking myself for being silent on this.
that's not very professional that your therapist chews gum during your session.
 

Lionheart

Sponsor
I can't chew gum. I have no teeth. I lost them all to periodontal disease from drinking too much cola/pop/soda etc. So anyway, @Changing4Best I agree that it is unprofessional of your "t" to chew gum during sessions. But I can't help but wonder why you were afraid to tell him it bothered you? I am interested because I have trouble standing up for myself and vocalizing my boundaries. I am unsure of what it is I am so afraid of. It is like I suddenly become a small child without a voice. Sorry, did not mean to get so heavy...I'm just curious.
 

Invisible Fire

MyPTSD Pro
But I can't help but wonder why you were afraid to tell him it bothered you? I am interested because I have trouble standing up for myself and vocalizing my boundaries. I am unsure of what it is I am so afraid of.

I know this question wasn’t asked of me but it am curious also. I also can not stand up for myself. For me I am afraid of the other person getting mad at me. Also, what if I’m wrong and it isn’t something that I should stand up about? My therapist has told me I should stand up for myself that I can disagree or say I’m irritated about something. But, if I do that maybe he won’t like me any more. Won’t be kind like he is now. Any way I just wanted to add I struggle with this also.
 

Rani G

MyPTSD Pro
Same thing just a different method of acting out. If I feel that someone is „against“ me (That depending on the situational context)I fear that the person will one Day punish me, reject me or humiliate me so I also want the person to like me. It’s origins belong to the perpetrator being my caregiver and me being highly dependent on his mercy. Now when someone, let’s say is judging/ criticizing me (Also depending on a few things) I want to „win“ so I’m either being sarcastic or funny in order to feel smarter and better (Better is ofcourse not objectively better it’s the part acting out) and at the same time I want to make that person like me also. It’s very contradicting and appears to be confusing. Everytime Im in that power dynamic, I must always try to speak with the part and make her realize of the NOW. It’s still hard and I also fail and sometimes there are moments when I have changed the pattern.
 
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