I remember once I had a period of about 7 months when I felt like I reverted into a semi-permanent triggered state. But I came out of that thinking there was a purpose. I had made a deliberate decision not to distance myself from it, and embrace it (I had just read books on cptsd and wanted to practice integrating my experiences). I did all sorts of mental exercises embracing that little damaged hurt girl inside. No matter how shitty I felt, I embraced it. After about 7 months, I regained a sense of normalcy again and I came out of it feeling so much more whole. Anyway, this might not be the same thing at all for you. Best wishes on your next steps.