Concerning A Recent Compliment

[dougyhowzer]

Hi everyone . It's been a very long time since my last post .
So it was my birthday recently and I had the privilege to play some classical guitar pieces .

A chosen sister of mine recently complimented me on how well I have done and that I should be proud of the work I have put in .

Interestingly enough , I told her that in general I don't think too much about the effort I put in . When I do think about effort , my view usually goes from neutral to negative .

I don't think effort is really important , if I am able to play a whole piece without making a mistake , then okay .

But if I make too many mistakes then I usually get mad . My question is has this happened to any of you , and if so have your views change since then .

It doesn't have to be related to music either , it can be related to anything that involves effort .

 

[Deleted member 28403]

If you are thinking of the effect when you are ignoring the positive as being normal, but take negative as SERIOUSLY negative, I can really relate to that :hug: I get that a lot.

 

[BlueOrange]

I think your sister has a very good point, although it's a difficult one for me to acknowledge. Long-term results always come from great effort. Persisting with improving your capabilities (including artistic capabilities like guitar) is a Good Thing in itself. The process of becoming able to succeed is worthwhile as a process, not just as an outcome.

 

[ladee]

YES !!! I am doing that to myself right now. Very timely thread for me. I start a new job in March which is going to have a lot of computer work I will have to be taught, and interacting with the public... since I have found out I got the job, had the last interview, my stomach is in a knot, and the monkey voices are screeching to high volume....I know enough about computers to be taught a new program and I can most definitely get along with the public... so YES... I know exactly what you mean and understand you !!!

 

[Deleted member 28403]

@ladee
I think a visit to the distorted cognitions thread might be useful :P
Minimizing the success and maximizing the view of failure

 

[ladee]

Thanks @Saelben... will go check it out ... maybe it will calm me down.... :hug:

 

[dougyhowzer]

I think your sister has a very good point, although it's a difficult one for me to acknowledge. Long...

Thanks Blue Orange . It's good to get feedback on this thing . I think any sort of activity is good and normal in itself .

Just that if anyone ever wanted to ask me personally if I think activities that require effort are good . I would say "meh" and not really care ,it's not really important to me .

It could be related to my biological parents not seeing my life as unimportant .

 

[BlueOrange]

Just that if anyone ever wanted to ask me personally if I think activities that require effort are good . I would say "meh" and not really care ,it's not really important to me .

So then, the question is whether you want to continue with that pattern, given that your sister has presented an alternative way of thinking about it.

 

[dougyhowzer]

So then, the question is whether you want to continue with that pattern, given that your sister has p...

That's incredibly profound ! , but perhaps something to process . I will certainly talk to my counsellor this . Thanks

 

[Deleted member 28403]

@dougyhowzer
I notice this wierd trend, when trying really hard, something doesn't happen, but just at the pooint of giving up, it works.

 

[dougyhowzer]

@dougyhowzer
I notice this wierd trend, when trying really hard, something doesn't ha...

Thanks for mentioning that Saelben. I hav noticed that too every once in a while .

 

[Deleted member 28403]

Though I'm not sure what even makes sense recently,a lot has been falling apart