News Consent.. The Link Contains Scenarios

[Gs172003]

What do you make of this article? If this is right I have been assaulted more often then I thought.


Dead Link Removed

 

[Kintsugi]

This is in line with what I understand about consent. The "no means no" rhetoric is going the way of the dinosaur (fortunately), replaced by "only yes means yes (when consent by both parties is possible)."

Here is a good thread from @Justmehere Consent Explained

 

[Gs172003]

Can I stop blaming myself now then?

 

[BlueDream]

Please stop blaming yourself now.
I know it's hard, trust me, I finally starting to believe it after 36 years. Don't wait that long to forgive yourself for being hurt by someone else.
It was not your fault, you did nothing wrong.

 

[Gs172003]

I feel like I could have stopped it. Five damn years.

 

[BlueDream]

I feel/felt the same also, they want us to feel that way so we, take on the blame. Because it's not the abusers fault ever, or so they would like to think.
But it is their fault 100% no matter how they try to twist it, or no matter how we twist it. They intentionally hurt you, you are not responsible for their actions, and your actions are that of a survivor.

 

[Gs172003]

Thanks

 

[BlueDream]

I know it's hard, but take it easy on yourself!! Be kind to yourself, you deserve it.

 

[Gs172003]

It's hard when I realize it was even worse than I thought. Why did I do this to myself?

 

[Gs172003]

Not worse. More than.

 

[BlueDream]

For me...I just figured out I was re abusing myself in ways. I think the reasons are buried in my subconscious.

Things like, I'm comfortable with this because this behavior is normal to me. (My abuse goes back to early childhood)
I was programmed to believe the bad things about myself that they wanted me to believe so they could control me. I was taught that I deserved that type of behavior. And that is still buried somewhere in my subconscious that I deserve it.

So now I have to retrain my brain to believe and to know the truth that,
no I don't deserve it then or now, especially now. Because now I'm grown and it's up to me to protect me, and the little girl that still lives inside me.

 

[BlueDream]

I hope I don't sound harsh, I'm always worried about that. :(

((((Hugs))))

It will get better, you will make it better for yourself!!