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Other Coping After The Us Election.

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Something I realized this afternoon. For the last 8 years, I've listened to assorted people rave on, often with great anger, about how Barack Obama is a Moslem from Kenya, who hates America, and assorted other incomprehensible stuff. I've struggled to understand both their grasp of reality and where all that rage comes from. I realized this afternoon that I don't have to do that anymore. Further, I'm free to channel my inner wacko conspiracy theorist.

I had a guy, this afternoon, ask about how I voted, more or less. I said, "well, I didn't vote for him. Even if I agreed with him on anything, which I don't, or thought he had any concept of what it means to keep his promises, which I don't, there's no way I could ever vote for a guy who thinks it's ok for him sexually assault any woman wants, any time he wants, just because he wants to." That was greeted with a stunned silence that reminded me of my reaction to, "Global warming is a main stream media lie." We went on have a ok conversation. This is a genuinely nice guy and I like him. He's just misguided. But this is gonna be SO much fun .:devilish:
 
In the coping afterwards--I've disengaged with pretty much everyone who doesn't already see things from my point of view (I don't have energy to argue and it won't change their minds). I am keeping track of things on facebook but limiting my time on it and intentionally taking breaks for non-politically-charged relaxation. A lot of people are coming together on campus (and I'm sure off campus) to support each other and I've been going to be with those people so I'm not alone with my stress and anxiety. I'm working to help and protect the people around me, which helps me get through the day in the short term (survival mode) though I'm paying for it afterward.
 
My only problem is the hateful rhetoric and dismissal of hurt feelings. For me, this has never been about a political debate. Frustrating thing is, people are perlplexed by my reaction, and i have trouble communicating the how come or why of my reaction (symptomatically). I also become frustrated by the misperceptions people carry as a result, as if I'm a bitter victim who just feels sorry for herself. The reality is, I've grown quite a lot and am anything but bitter. I have gratitude for my resiliency and the relationship with my husband. I'm grateful to realize I'm not broken or damaged. I'm made stronger by this....

In a nutshell, I'm so over this PTSD bull crap and am not holding onto the past. It's just that events like this remind me that I do have PTSD and (in my experience at least).... it's managed but not cured.... thus is where communities like this are vital.....
 
I'm in and out of a dissociative fog, which is not my normal state.

I've run the gamut on emotions.

I realize that having options for my future is what eases my fear and helps ground me.

I have a plan moving forward but won't discuss it here, for privacy reasons. If anyone wants to know what I'm doing, please read the last post in my member's diary. It isn't graphic or have "typically triggering" material. I say this as I know sometimes diaries can be a bit more graphic, but this post isn't.

But yes-----what I want to say is that I hope you can find a way to make yourselves feel (relatively) safe in all this chaos. I'm a bit dissociative but having my "plan" is giving me so much hope in an otherwise hopeless time. This is a longer term goal, and I'm still trying to find ways to ground in the moment.

---no social media
---no news
---avoiding most websites except this one and a few others
---reaching out for help in ways I don't typically do

I realize I hug everyone here. I'm now hugging everyone in real life too. It's helping.

All I can say is I'm glad the holidays are almost here. Holiday stuff everywhere is helping.
 
Thx for your suggestions, these are definitely worth considering. I'm going to read your diary for more survival plan ideas....

....in addition to the above, I'm slowly feeling out people I know and determining if they are safe. Here in the states since trumps election everybody has an opinion. I have no problem with opinions, but when rhetoric is especially hateful, I need to step back. Your suggestions above are excellent....

Thanks!!
 
One thought on "changing people's minds". It's fairly well known that, if you repeat a lie often enough, people tend to believe it in increasing numbers and with increasing certainty. We've seen that demonstrated in this country over recent years. I'd like to think that if you repeat the truth often enough, people might start to believe THAT. Which was my main reason for engaging with my client yesterday. If you stand silently by and don't speak your truth there's no chance of contributing to making things better. Be kind, be respectful, try to understand where other people are coming from, but don't be afraid to speak your truth, it just might make a difference.
 
The only truism is that when he opens his mouth, lies come out. He condones violence, admits he enjoys fighting, we know who he is. Bernie Sanders assured us this morning that if he dares try to strip Americans of their rights, his worst nightmare will be realized. He wants total control. That's what scares me. His finances and ties to Russia are being investigated. There are people that have our back, for which I'm grateful. Of course, he is trying to delay his trial for fraud, saying he has too much work to do. I hope the judge denies his request. Never in our history have we been faced with such a criminal. I am terrified.
 
I'm thinking about the stages of grief this morning.

Here's one site that describes them (though the focus is on grieving the loss of a loved one): 7 Stages of Grief

Personally, I want to just stay in shock and numbness. I know I won't be able to, but it's all I can handle just yet.

Hubby's moved into rage today. I dread going there. I hate feeling anger.

I've moved through these stages so many damn times in my life. Now we have to do it again because of other people. Again.
 
Yeah I've been numb too. But, people, wait til you hear what happened to me this morning! First of all, I was supposed to be there for an 8:00 client but I was too depressed to get out of bed. She was nice enough to come at 8:30. My hair is dirty and I couldn't get it together to get a shower. So I drive into the office park and I'm literally the only one there-oh yeah it's a holiday. I open my office and see that I forgot to take the trash out last night. So I get my dog and head out to the dumpster with my head hanging low as I am in mourning since the election. I'm close to the dumpster and all of a sudden I see a guy just standing there. Not anyone but me and him in the whole park. So every muscle in my body lunched and I told myself, just throw in the trash and get outta there. I had to unlock a padlock to open the dumpster so I had my keys in my hand and my dogs leash in the other. I threw the bag in and my keys went with it!!!! So I needed this guys help and he fished them out using a long stick. Then I realize my dog took off. Now I'm screaming for her she wouldn't come. So the mystery man said he'd help me find her and he did. So I didn't get robbed, and he helped a damsel in distress. I was so dissociated I felt like I was in a dream. Life goes on. Today I am going to send emails to my Senators and Congressmen to ask them to keep a close eye on Trump and not let him discriminate against black people, disabled people, women etc. I think one of my Senators should run for President. She was one of them that said they don't support Trump and Maine is a very inclusive state. If he gets Obamacare repealed, I'm sure as a state we will create our own. If you belong to a marginalized group, you'll find a friend here.
 
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