Hey @otakujome I used to be exactly the same. I would self-harm and when I tried to resist I would go freezing cold, shaking, dizzy, jumpy and sick. It's like my body was going into a state of shock. And I would make a few hours, maybe a few days, but it would just get worse and worse.
What it came down to was I couldn't regulate emotions and and I was dependent on self harm to do that. I got therapy and that let to me gradually stopping. I could tell you some tricks I learned if it helps.
Rocking, talking, throwing a ball at a wall as hard as you can, a bath, a walk, writing it all down and not censoring anything.
Another thing I did was trying to work in doubles. Go one day, then two, then four, then a week, then two weeks etc. After you get to 20 days it gets a lot easier.
But above all I couldn't more highly recommend good therapy.
What it came down to was I couldn't regulate emotions and and I was dependent on self harm to do that. I got therapy and that let to me gradually stopping. I could tell you some tricks I learned if it helps.
Rocking, talking, throwing a ball at a wall as hard as you can, a bath, a walk, writing it all down and not censoring anything.
Another thing I did was trying to work in doubles. Go one day, then two, then four, then a week, then two weeks etc. After you get to 20 days it gets a lot easier.
But above all I couldn't more highly recommend good therapy.