deeplyloved
MyPTSD Pro
Good morning. I'm having trouble learning how to decide when to call my therapist between sessions and when not to. I know she doesn't want me to "muscle through" and she wants me to practice asking for what I need. But she is also expensive! Last week, I asked for an extra session via Vsee, but we ended up being able to resolve things by text and a 15 minute phone call. She will refer to my emails in our weekly sessions but doesn't usually respond to them. She wants me to text or call her. We had a communication issue this summer where she was traveling and missed my text and thought my call was an accidental pocket dial (by her). It was awful. We worked through it and now she calls or texts me back so quickly that I feel ashamed and guilty for bothering her! I logically know I am not responsible for her feelings or for managing her time. Feelings are not logical though, are they?
It feels physically painful to make the decision and follow through to call her on the phone. Why is that? I wonder which muscles I should be strengthening and how to discern? Is it better to practice my own distress coping skills even when it feels like they aren't working? Should I only call her if it's an emergency? Or should I practice reaching out for appropriate help and support.
Last week we joked a little out what it would be like for me to go 7 whole days without a meltdown (my words). I just don't know if pushing myself that way is a healthy goal or not. Is it reasonable to feel ashamed for needing more contact with my therapist? Thank you for letting me type that out. This is not something my very sweet and dear (but nonPTSD) spouse and friends can understand or process with me. It's so uncomfortable and embarrassing!
It feels physically painful to make the decision and follow through to call her on the phone. Why is that? I wonder which muscles I should be strengthening and how to discern? Is it better to practice my own distress coping skills even when it feels like they aren't working? Should I only call her if it's an emergency? Or should I practice reaching out for appropriate help and support.
Last week we joked a little out what it would be like for me to go 7 whole days without a meltdown (my words). I just don't know if pushing myself that way is a healthy goal or not. Is it reasonable to feel ashamed for needing more contact with my therapist? Thank you for letting me type that out. This is not something my very sweet and dear (but nonPTSD) spouse and friends can understand or process with me. It's so uncomfortable and embarrassing!