Delayed Emotional Response

[UniqueSunflower]

Today and this week for that matter have been difficult. I've had the beginnings of a migraine for the last few days which I originally contributed to trigger points in my neck although during today's commute home, I started crying and processing the break-up from my latest relationship. I've felt numb to the situation for the last 3 weeks and have cried a few times although today, it felt like it hit me the hardest. I wish I could feel my emotions during events instead of days and weeks later. I know part of it is because of being busy with work and my mind is often preoccupied with job related responsibilities but it's like my brain just turns an emotional switch on when I least expect it. During my crying spell, I had feelings of sadness, frustration, disappointment, confusion, and feeling foolish for having been taken advantage of. I don't know if my migraines were related to the emotional buildup or not but I feel exhausted either way.

 

[EveHarrington]

Hi, Can you clarify if you're looking to get feedback, or if you have a question, or if you were just posting to get this out. Thanks. Just unsure how to respond.

 

[Friday]

Yep. This is so me. Everyone else freaking out? I'm fine. Crisis over? Meltdown! Meltdown!!!

I've learned in my professional life to ask for rain cheques. Meaning, no matter the crisis, when my bosses are going to want to give me time off -like a normal person- to go be completely f*cked up for a little while? It won't do me any good. It will be later, days/weeks/months once everything has settled down that... Yep. There I go! And I'm going to need the time off. Just like other people need time off mid-crisis to go be a mess. But unless I've clued my bosses in? They are soooo not going to want to give me time off. Hell. Even if I have, some people are just cock juggling thunder c*nts, and it's use it when they feel like it or lose it. But good bosses? Bueno. I'll be back as soon as I've scraped myself off the sidewalk, thanks. Deeply. I have to go collapse into a puddle of goo now.

 

[Deleted member 541]

I used to have this too. Something major would happen, and I was calm as ever. Would do what I needed to do, the event would be over and done with.... Then I would crash and burn......real bad, crash and burn...... It doesn't happen anymore, and I'm ever so glad.....

 

[Deleted member 12723]

This used to happen to me almost all of the time. But I was the queen of crises management in the intense dramas unfolding all around me.

I have recovered and felt so much better pretty much the last year since I moved out on my own.
When their is a crises and then the following aftermath to be faced and dealt with I had my meltdowns then.

I am very guarded now against drama in my own life now a days. It can happen for you too.

 

[Abstract]

Absolutely. I seem unable to react in the moment. It's taken a long time to realise that initial calm isn't real. I was so disconnected for most of my life I hardly connected the event and the later fallout. My life was a random collection of moments and I thought I was rock hard. Just the person for an emergency (I actually am). The gap has closed as I have improved in general. With hard work and hard work on dissociation. I am now torn about the change.

I'm sorry you are suffering like this. Your physical symptoms are likely related. Now that its hitting you you can do self care. Its confusing when its on a delay.

 

[UniqueSunflower]

Hi, Can you clarify if you're looking to get feedback, or if you have a question, or if you were...

Feedback and at the time, needed to get it out.

 

[UniqueSunflower]

This used to happen to me almost all of the time. But I was the queen of crises management in the intense...

I look forward to getting to the point where the delay isn't occurring. I too avoid drama in my life as much as possible. That's one reason this relationship came to a screeching halt since I didn't want to get further sucked into a bunch of BS but the emotional aftermath was tough. It gives me hope that it will continue to get better.

 

[UniqueSunflower]

Absolutely. I seem unable to react in the moment. It's taken a long time to realise that initial calm i...

Yes symptoms seem to be the "norm" after awhile & when you make progress forward it feels weird but a "good weird". I try so hard to stay grounded though I'm sure I dissociate more when under emotional stress.

 

[Psst Buzz]

Hiya, I came on here, via my search for help in my delayed emotional processing issues. I'm grateful you exist here!

Today, I finally felt something in relation to a decision I made based on logic and, lost it! In the grand scheme of things it's not a biggie, but, it made me realize I do this a lot, too much, but, I don't even know how much?

The feelings came flowing forth when it became a reality that I'm not on the plane with my friends to go to Cuba (have never been) to celebrate our birthdays (which we've never done, but, it's a biggie, 50). I had caused delays in the booking...not the right place (afraid I'd get restless stuck in a resort in the middle of nowhere, with no real Cuban culture to distract me)...so my friends accommodated the booking to be near Havana. But, then the price wasn't right, I set my limit to $600.

Then, 2 days ago, I finally called an agency in the hood, and he found me a deal, but, when I called my friend, they had just booked 5 minutes earlier.

And, then today, when I realized how much more complicated it would be to find another flight & package to join them, I had a meltdown! I need to contact their booking agent, in another province (Quebec, while I'm in Ontario), and then pay a surcharge for the occupancy change. And, on top of that, they leave this afternoon, so I'd be on another flight, arriving days later and have to find my own way to the airport, and in the end, not saving any money. Blah, blah, blah.

I finally realized how my decision-making process creates so many more issues for me in the long run. I set an unrealistic limit for the price, not realizing how unrealistic it was, and only realizing too late, that I really wanted to do this fun spontaneous thing. But there's the crux of it, spontaneous fun requiring a financial commitment.

I didn't even know I really wanted to go!? So I have a double edged sword playing havoc with me: my indecisive decision-making process, the unrealistic expectations, and the disconnect from my feelings through the process, until it's basically too late! What is that? How do I get better? I've been diagnosed with PTSD, years ago. At first, the emotional delay was years, at least now it seems to be down to a couple months through to a few days. But, I'm still not on.

I've been doing yoga and meditation and all sorts of therapies to help me get aligned, body, mind, heart and soul, but, I am still so scattered, so fragmented.

I don't expect any answers, although I'm open to miracles! Just needed to get it out & share here, now that I know you exist! If someone feels like responding, feel free. Thanks!