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Other Dermatillomania

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Same for me...

When I stop with cutting and other more aggressive forms of self harm, I'm constantly skin picking
 
I've had this really badly the last few years. My face, neck, arms, chest, back. I just feel obsessed if I notice any sort of imperfection (and my partner thinks I see things that aren't there) and I just have to go at it. Morning and evening I end up in the bathroom for at least an hour, I've even started doing it in the middle of the night when I wake up feeling restless. I managed to avoid doing it for one day last week and ended up chewing on the inside of my mouth instead (had a bump from accidentally biting myself during dinner). In the past I have used nail scissors to literally cut out things like mosquito bites and moles, have used needles and safety pins etc if I feel like I can't adequately reach it. I watch myself do it and it hurts, sometimes beyond even what I've done self-harming in the past, and it scares me that the urge overcomes my pain like that.

I've been trying a few things out. My partner bought me some cotton gloves but it's like lightraze said, the urge wins every time. He gets so upset I don't use them and disappointed for me continuing to do it, I can't make him understand it. I bought myself a tactile tangle therapy toy but I've only used it at work (zoning out on my emails/spreadsheets etc) a couple of times, because I'd pretty much have to hold it all the time for me to use it before I go into trance mode... I'd like to cover up the mirrors in the bathroom but partner doesn't want people who visit to know I'm crazy :bag: You'd think that would be apparent anyway with all my self-harm scars and the damage I've already done to my face, but you know.
 
I have never been diagnosed with this, its a secret shame. I do it in places no one can see, it led me in to cutting. I feel like i already have enough issues. I find for me it goes up and down with my anxiety. My therapist has pointed out that i am now self soothing by rubbing my arms, which is a better step in the right direction. I am on meds and those trances that i really do major injury, have really gotten less. But you will never see me in a backless dress the scarring is bad. So whats helped me therapy and medication. I know if i stop either one, i would slide right back to the extreme.
 
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