Despairing carer

[northwesrt]

Hello all, completely new to all this. Can't go om without some support any more. My wife was diagnosed with PTSD a year ago after suffering for 2 years before. We live in a remote village that more or less closes for winter. The big thing is I have no time away from the condition. If we go out in public she accuses me of ogling every other woman we pass. I can't watch tv alone, if we watch together I have to vet the programmes because if an attractive woman appears she gets upset. A mate got in touch about a week away hill walking. This has caused a lot of problems as she's convinced I won't come back. I have nowhere to turn, am self employed and work is suffering. I shouldn't smoke and I'm on 20 a day. Two years ago I began twitching and it still comes on. I feel like I'm falling to pieces

 

[Ahok]

Is she being treated?

 

[northwesrt]

yes, once a month on average

 

[Anuv]

You have to be able to work and live your life. Her mental illness cannot dictate that.

 

[Otur]

question is...what do I do? I only have limited time as she will be back this evening and being online without an explanation is out of the question. She knows what she does is wrong but can't seem to stick with it. She was fresh out of counselling but seemed worse than ever.

 

[Wirisi]

First of all you're a grown adult. You can be online if you want to be. You're allowed your boundaries, even if she has PTSD. She doesn't run your life.

 

[Koruh]

My heart goes out to you.....my ex husband suffered a great deal, at my hands. The more he gave the more I expected of him....I was going through counseling at the time.

I've moved on since then and with a partner who practices boundaries, and learned early on what he was willing to accept/ not accept. This made a major difference to me.....I've learned the consequences of my actions....basically if I want to remain in this relationship, I work on certain aspects, which I have....over the years.

Please look into boundaries...you need to respect what you need.....and she, a midst her chaos, needs to be reminded of possible consequences.... It was enough for me to take action on myself. It isn't easy....had a few hiccups, but found balance in the end.

 

[Osod]

Thank you, I know this, it's odd how it's a steady incremental slide, the constant battering of the effects of the illness wears you down. I want to set boundaries. I have let it slide (keeping up a pressured job at the same time and having no safety net doesn't help) and the problem now is my mental state is in crisis. She's asking that I help her out of her immediate state and I'm hardly in a position to...

 

[Emato]

You need to take stock of what you need....otherwise you both fall into the deep dark pit....no good for either of you.

You have to take control of your needs.