ED Disordered eating

[ms spock]

So I binge ate cashews last night, a whole packet. It's not the end of the world. This will get better.

 

[ms spock]

So I ate lunch and dinner and now I won't eat again until tomorrow morning. That is my goal.

 

[ms spock]

I actually managed it last night. I didn't comfort eat last night. That was really good.

 

[HealingInProcess]

I actually managed it last night. I didn't comfort eat last night. That was really good.

Woo!

 

[ms spock]

So it fluctuates but still over improvement. I had a vanilla milkshake without the vanilla today, and I didn't feel good after that. But overall doing okay with portion sizes and eating. Took some watermelon down to our visitors, N&J and they liked that. I am on the whole doing really well.

 

[HealingInProcess]

So it fluctuates but still over improvement. I had a vanilla milkshake without the vanilla today, and I didn't feel good after that. But overall doing okay with portion sizes and eating. Took some watermelon down to our visitors, N&J and they liked that. I am on the whole doing really well.

Excellent. I had three pancakes when I should have had two but they didn't have a thing to order two and I didn't have the willpower to stop but things are getting better for me. I'm considering being a part-time vegetarian or maybe 80% of the time and I think that might help.

 

[VioletButterfly]

I am on the whole doing really well.

Good to see you are doing better. :)

 

[ms spock]

Massive improvement!

 

[VioletButterfly]

This move has been very stressful for me. I've been trying very hard to deal in healthy ways with my mind running in multiple catastrophic ways toward meltdown.

I experienced a pattern working itself out at the grocery store a couple of days ago. I found myself being consciously aware of seeking comfort food as a solution for how I was feeling. I'm not sure I've ever really been conscious and evaluative in this way with regard to ED. It was the oddest emotional and intellectual sensation. I'm hoping this "awareness" is a step toward finding something else to help me better deal with my feelings. I don't think sitting with them would be an option right now as there is just too much and too many layers. Awareness -> Acknowledgement -> Action Maybe?

 

[HealingInProcess]

This move has been very stressful for me. I've been trying very hard to deal in healthy ways with my mind running in multiple catastrophic ways toward meltdown.

I experienced a pattern working itself out at the grocery store a couple of days ago. I found myself being consciously aware of seeking comfort food as a solution for how I was feeling. I'm not sure I've ever really been conscious and evaluative in this way with regard to ED. It was the oddest emotional and intellectual sensation. I'm hoping this "awareness" is a step toward finding something else to help me better deal with my feelings. I don't think sitting with them would be an option right now as there is just too much and too many layers. Awareness -> Acknowledgement -> Action Maybe?

I am also self medicating with sugar at the moment but I know I'll get it worked out eventually.

 

[ms spock]

Fell down rabbit hole again!

 

[HealingInProcess]

Fell down rabbit hole again!

I'm throwing down a carrot on a line to fish you out.