ED Disordered eating

[ms spock]

Do you have a trauma therapist @lovak?
Have you heard the Brain over Binge podcasts? They might interest you.

So I went down for two days to see my sister. I did pretty well with my eating. I chose to go over the WW points, but I didn't binge or comfort eat. I did really well with it. It was stressful but I did okay.

 

[lovak]

@Living in the 70s no not yet. I've been referred to specialized healthcare because Im too much of a risk to be in regular healthcare... Im on a waiting list now and dont have acces to any help unless I am a danger to myself or others.

Ill look in to that podcast, thanks! Can it also help with medically induced binges?

 

[mumstheword]

I am doing it! I have lost about 6kg in about a month. My stomach has shrunk a lot. My appetite is relatively tiny. I have changed my eating habits dramatically. I don't deprive myself though. I am not eating much in the way of simple carbs, just tiny amounts, occasionally.

I eat delicious proteins, a healthy amount of fats (even when.I'm not really hungry) and large amounts of complex carbs, as in water and fibre rich vegetables, but only when I'm hungry, which is rarely. I drink herbal teas and sometimes broths. I also eat a lot of sirtuin rich foods, which are metabolic fat burner chemicals or, I guess, phytonutrients. I am having a bit of sweeteners maple syrup, xylitol and Stevie, and small amounts of dark chocolate, to satisfy sweet cravings.

This has been easy! It feels like I have made the decision to make these changes permanent and easy. Small amounts and nutrient dense but delicious food is very satisfying for me now.

I rarely eat dessert but made a avocado chocolate mouse last night and had a small amount of that for dinner. A lot of my meals are low carb meals from low carb recipe books or else I eat a tiny amount of a main meal I cook for the family, with the bulk of the meal being cabbage or broccoli or cauliflower or zucchini, which I find super satisfying. Spices and flavorings are very important.
The secret for me, is not depriving myself of enough good fats, proteins and bulking up on veg and nutrient rich fluids. I also use ketones, black seed oil, and glucomannan occasionally. I am doing a lot of emotions processing and writing, regular walks and peer support, here.
I have some fantastic recipe books that I draw on often, which are low cal but delicious recipes.
I'm not quite into the 70's but it won't be long now! :-)

 

[lovak]

@mumstheword that soumds amazing! Well done, you did your research!

 

[ms spock]

Ill look in to that podcast, thanks! Can it also help with medically induced binges?

I don't know @lovak. I haven't listened to them all. I have listened to just a few of them.

You may have to adapt the podcast suggestions to tailor them to your own needs.

I am doing it!

The secret for me, is not depriving myself of enough good fats, proteins and bulking up on veg and nutrient rich fluids. I also use ketones, black seed oil, and glucomannan occasionally. I am doing a lot of emotions processing and writing, regular walks and peer support, here.
I have some fantastic recipe books that I draw on often, which are low cal but delicious recipes.
I'm not quite into the 70's but it won't be long now! :)

Congratulations!

So this morning was the first time that I dropped into my goal weight of 72 kilos!

I started at roughly about 87 kilos, though I had lost weight the previous year/s due to really trying to improving my eating, and not binge eat as much.

So when I get there officially that will mean I am out of overweight and into the normal range of my BMI. So finally I will be a healthy weight. It has been a lot of hard work.

My ability to eat regular portions has improved over the last few days, and in a few situations which were really high stress.

So the next phase is maintaining that weight for 3-5 years so I don't just slide back into old habits, and put all the weight back on during times of emotional stress, which, when you have PTSD, there are many.

 

[ms spock]

I am still doing okay with this, though I am feeling a lot of anxiety now without the comfort eating, but I am sticking with it.

 

[mumstheword]

Congratulations on hitting your goal weight! That's a huge achievement @Living in the 70s !

I too, started at 87kg, that was a wake up call, as my weight has mainly been around the 85kg mark for the last 4 years. I did get up to nearly 90kg though, after my first miscarriage but did the low carb diet and even got into the 70's before falling pregnant, again (and again) last year. I was scared, for a while, to even try to lose the weight, because of how weight loss became linked to pregnancy and miscarriages.

Not much more than a month ago I hit 87kg, again, and that was it, I was finally ready (again!) to get the weight off. I'm down to around 81 now and look forward to joining you in the 70's in the next few weeks.:).

 

[ms spock]

Thanks @mumstheword! It is huge change in my life.

I did some comfort eating yesterday, I did have a few extra portions. I was self soothing with food yesterday. But no where near what I would have eaten previously. So I am much more moderate in my eating now. It is a big shift for me. I will have to focus for the next 3-5 years of maintenance, but that is just doing the work each day. I can do this.

I look forward to seeing you and living with you in the 70s! Mostly that is for my disco orientation, and a little for my weight change!

 

[ms spock]

My weight is now at the top of my BMI, so I am not longer overweight. I am 72 kilos. So I may go down to 70 kilos so I am a couple of kilos below my top weight, so if I had a bad week and put a couple of kilos on, then I am not over my BMI weight. Or I could go to 68/69 kilos, it will depend on what works for my body. So that will take 6 months or so to work out. So I will just see how it goes. If I stay at 72 kilos that is fine as well. It depends on where my body feels comfortable being with weight, and that is a trial and error.

 

[ninja]

@Living in the 70s @mumstheword cheering you both on! :hug::hug:

I am struggling a little more (in a different way I think) with ED related things and body image. I am not happy with how I feel in my body/my weight and while I am in a normal range it does not feel right for me. I'd like to claim my body: my body is mine and I would like to feel like myself inside of it!

I am struggling to figure out how to approach the above. Do I focus on eating more slowly and mindfully and steer away from foods with added sugar and eat when I am hungry and stop when I feel satisfied? It can be really challenging to understand the signals I am receiving from my body. Do I count calories? How much deliberate effort do I put into this? I just don't know. I feel like after all of the anorexia and restriction I have a good sense of how much I am eating without tracking. I also feel like if what I am doing is recovering from anorexia and restriction then the next step would be intuitive eating rather than a return to a deliberate restrictive mindset. On the other hand, the "numbers approach" might be a more certain path to progress. A lot of these questions I have to be the one to answer, but it is confusing and challenging to trust myself to pick a path and stick with it long enough and consistently enough to make progress.

 

[ms spock]

That is a really hard one to work out @NinjaWolf. If you can do intuitive eating that would be good. I can't trust myself to do that. I either eat way too much, or way too little, and I don't want to go to either extreme. I like to read about your process because in 3-5 years I might be where you are now.

Last night I went out Chinese Vegan, and it was beautiful. Unfortunately I ate too much. I didn't work out what was reasonable before I started, and so I didn't have a stopping point.

This meant when I got upset, I just kept on eating. I did do a little bit of comfort eating when I got home as well. I felt very disconnected after that. I was a bit emotionally dysregulated as well.

I saw Papa Bear last night and he thanked me for putting him to bed the night before, and I didn't put him to bed the night before. I haven't put him to bed for a couple of years. That was also upsetting. So that would have contributed to my feelings of upset.

So I also comfort ate when I came home as well.

 

[ms spock]

So all I want to do today is eat and eat. I don't want to feel feelings. I don't want to be present. I don't want to do anything but not feel. A food coma sounds like a good idea.

I ate two servings for lunch, and six biscuits. So I am done. I didn't need the second serving, it was comfort eating. It is not anywhere in the league of where I used to be with overeating, but it is a sign to stop and slow down. I feel really challenged. I feel lonely. I feel tired.

I have broken my other tooth now as well. So my body is so uptight that I am breaking my teeth. This is not optimum.