Poll Do you ask for help when you need to?

[littleoc]

I voted that I have no trouble asking for help. I was silenced a lot as a kid. But I eventually discovered that outside help could do magical things like get my father away and do things for me that I couldn’t otherwise picture or do myself.

I was asked to do all kinds of work around the house, and I did learn how to use internet to know what I needed to do, but I also knew when to quit and insist to my family that outside help was required. Stupid I had to do that at all — but whatever.

It’s my main strength, is knowingly when and how to ask for help. :)

 

[Ice_Fire]

I went for sometimes. As a child? Nope never. I was the little parent and was there solely at times to help my parents and sort out problems. That also meant that if I had a problem I had to do my best to somehow sort it because if they won't help themselves they sure as hell wouldn't help me. But as I got older and eventually went to live with Nan I got better at asking for help. But only her help. Grandad was an angry man and would usually call you stupid for needing help. School...up until my last year of compulsory education, nope. School was a bad place to ask for help because they might get social services involved and we cannot be having that. In my last year I had an English teacher who was amazing and eventually I trusted him enough to ask for help.

These days, well, my thoughts are along the lines of @Friday . If I don't need it but it would make my life easier and the request is not unreasonable, aye I'll ask. But if I think it overly inconveniences someone, or if I really need it and am therefore vulnerable, I'll push myself way too much to sort whatever it is out myself, even if I make myself worse in the process.

Facing this kind of thing at work at the moment. I'm on my own in an office where there's usually two full time people in my role. I'm the newbie, just been left to hold the fort on my own, with insufficient training. I need an extra pair of hands, but I fear what my manager will think, if she'll think I can't cope. So I've not asked and I'm run ragged... Hmm... Probably should do something about that!

 

[Abstract]

It’s my main strength, is knowingly when and how to ask for help. :)

I am in awe of you and agree it is a very big strength. Yay you.

 

[littleoc]

I am in awe of you and agree it is a very big strength. Yay you.

Thank you! You can get there too! :D

 

[Lionheart]

My answer is sometimes because I will ask for help, but usually only after I have tried everything I can do on my own first.

 

[grit]

I voted - Sometimes I ask for help, but not always.
Something I learned in therapy BUT the thing is every time I asked help my therapist; he did not provide what I asked and weirdly enough, this was another fusion for my integration recovery. I asked and he could not, I realize it means I must have it in me.

In my relationship, I have no problem asking for emotional help or even physical support when I feel scared or need support.

In the past, one of the way I could not recover for so long was the fear of asking for help. Now I over ridden cognitively so long, it has become second nature.

 

[MrMoonlight]

This is such a big problem for me, I don't even know how to ask for help. What would you say? I feel hopeless and feel like I'm drowning....please rescue me. I always go silent and isolate. I need to break that cycle.

 

[frogthroat]

I never ask for help which is part of the reason I ended up on 2nd floor.

 

[Rani G2]

Never. Not sure if it’s true.. but I tend to idealize the „selfsufficient“ style. I cannot Show or have hardly shown a vulnerable side. I probably have but I instantly go back to a I am a fighter kind of a mode. This is also why I have no friends really. A part in me who is the fighter is not letting me be vulnerable or show that I am breakable.