Poll Do You Have Secrets About Your Trauma That You've Not Divulged To Your Therapist?

[Shadowtao]

Yep I keep some things to myself.
The VA is not always your friendly helphul people. Also everything in my medical record is open to the VA claims people.
Say you tell them you had a bad childhood which you tell the T* about, and you have a VA claim for PTSD pending. Guess what the claim decision will be.
Another reason is some of the T's here are real quick to envoke a Florida law which allows them to lock you up for 72 hours if they think you are "...a harm to self, harm to others, or self neglectful..."

 

[Marie E.]

There are some things I don't think I could tell anybody!!

 

[Lucille]

I keep secrets from others mostly because I try to keep them from myself. If I say them out loud, then they're true... I pretend that if I keep them in, they will go away or are just harmless thoughts... Even though that sometimes causes me more harm -- from the stress of keeping it in. I've noticed that sometimes letting it out means it becomes powerless over me.

 

[tiffystee]

Yeah I still havn't told my therapist everything. When I was a child and my parents made me see a therapist and I started to tell them some things they would look at me in like a disbelief look and then try to quiet me up, load me with tons of meds then out the door. Couldnt understand why, so I'm very leary of therapist these days, and not only that but parts of me are scared to tell them certain things. Certain things I havn't even told God, certain things Im so scared of. So, but over time we will see but I totally agree with Jagged Angel alot of it is feeling vulnerable.

 

[Jen93]

No, I haven't told my therapist everything, but at the time, I just thought it was because I didn't have anything left to tell. I didn't tell her I got flashbacks and I was afraid of her until last week-And it's not appropriate to tell her in an email about the vivid body memory I have when with her or my tutor- my left shoulder gets a hard reflexive reaction, like a muscle spasm-I didn't want to tell her why until I knew the memory was real; I didn't WANT to believe it was real. Now that I do know it's real I guess I'll no longer be able to deny it or ignore it- I've got to tell her next time I see her in three weeks.

I have a feeling it's going to be hard, but a relief too. I still wonder though if that is the right thing to do. I think I'm going to trust my instinct-and if I find out it's wrong I'll celebrate-I hope it's wrong, but I highly doubt it, it's happened far too much to be wrong.

 

[valley_peace_gal]

Yes I have secrets...Still have shame and guilt. Just not ready.

 

[PTSD sufferer]

I would have to say no, I don't have secrets from my Ts. I figured that if I wanted to get better, than I needed to talk about it. Simple enough in theory, but practice is a little different.

With the most horrific stuff, the only 'telling' happened when I wrote down dot points and handed it to my T, while I ball my eyes out on the couch. I think that still counts as telling? So, my T knows everything, in summary, but not all the graphic details that plague me.

But, I think if my T had ever been hard on me or pressured me in anyway, I would have just clammed up and not said a word, let alone hand over my dot points scribbled on a sheet of paper.

There is still a lot I can't verbalise, I have diaries that I have shredded because I can't even handle that being around me, or someone else finding them. But, verbalising is not the be all and end all for me, as much as I would like to verbalise the details, I have to work with what I can do and I am doing ok, all things considered.

 

[ericaboo]

I haven't had enough sessions to really tell my story yet, but I am horribly afraid of telling too much. Right now I feel like there's this respectful relationship budding. Once someone knows, they hold unacceptable power. I won't feel safe any more. Total catch-22.

He says he doesn't want me to try to tell him yet unless I really want to - that I might not be ready. Even so, what will I do when he asks THE question?

 

[Lav]

I've been seeing my psychiatrist for about 5 years now, and yes I keep somethings to myself. If I'm not comfortable speaking about certain issues I won't, she has never forced or manipulated me to do otherwise. I trust her because of this and we have a good relationship. Forcing someone to speak of their trauma in detail when they don't want to can be a tramatic experience in itself. I have my reasons not to speak about certain things and that needs to be respected.

 

[WendyR]

I'm to afraid to open up yet with my therapist. Hopefully in time I will be able to. I don't open up to anyone really. Lots of shame and guilt.

 

[Tinyflame]

Fear, as well.

 

[WendyR]

And lots of it!!