Poll Do You Re-create Your Trauma?

[StellaBlue]

Thinking about it a little more, I think for me, some of my "recreation" behaviors were done both to change the outcome and also to recreate the situation but be in control of it (I think there's a subtle difference between these two things). Again, it's complicated....and the brain is such a funny thing.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

be in control of it

I think thats the "why" of most of mine. Though become fully submissive once im having sex, i still think its to control it as i can say no, walk away, stop, whatever. Def the being forcefully seductive is both a recreatation of my 'child prostitute' days but also control of it.

Googling "PTSD control" (over this very subject) is how my therapist and I found this site.

Certianly I think understanding it and the "why" helps in stopping. I mean you have to understand it to really put in an 'action plan" in stopping it, right?

@mary1979 maybe not a good motivator but I think its good that people are thinking about it and saying "well i never thought this is recreations but it is" because how can you stop it if you dont understand it or even know its potientally something that came from the past? I dont know, I just see thinking hard about it as a good thing.

 

[Ronin]

both to change the outcome and also to recreate the situation

Yep, totally to change the outcome & also reestablish that current reality is actually happening.
Because if I'm having miles of mess to sort a new? I need to believe what I'm doing is real, and the past is indeed the past.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Because if I'm having miles of mess to sort a new? I need to believe what I'm doing is real, and the past is indeed the past.

Layman's terms? Im sorry...maybe having a dense moment but not quite getting what you mean.

Are you meaning that you have to seperate what happened was in the past and the re-creation of it is in today's reality?

If that is what you're saying, maybe I dont know how to, or fully know how to do that cause sort of like a flashback brings the past into looking like today, a part of me or my brain or something sort of goes 'back there' when re-creating it.

 

[goingonhope]

I tend to self-neglect my needs, deny or put myself last and spread myself too thin. I also tend to take on the responsibilities of others in addition to my already too great of responsibilities. Plus, I place too great of expectations upon myself while not affording myself the same permissions, many other's would afford themselves.

 

[StellaBlue]

reestablish that current reality is actually happening

Ah yes...in many ways a lot of things boil down to this. I have found, even beyond "recreating" trauma scenarios, if I am having an emotional overreaction, chances are I'm not in the present. Unfortunately, it takes me some time to figure this out. My amygdala has already decided there's danger and it's fight, flight or freeze.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

@goingonhope i feel you on all of that. Do the same things. Some of it is "punishment" from the past and some of it is poor boundry setting and feeling as my needs are below everyone else's but im slowly learning how to nicely saying an honest "no i cant" and/or "no I dont have XYZ".

I know how hard all of that is! :hug:

 

[StellaBlue]

...a part of me or my brain or something sort of goes 'back there' when re-creating it.

This is exactly what is happening on a very real, physiological level. Your amygdala perceives a threat (which is a good thing if there is an actual threat) and tries to convince the rest of your brain that the threat is real.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

@StellaBlue if its about the past is the past and the re-creation is in today's reality; how do you do that? Or is that the emtire struggle?

I know the amygdala and over taking the hippocampas, however you spell that. There was a metophor site i posted on her about Amy and Sargent Hippo lol.

 

[StellaBlue]

if its about the past is the past and the re-creation is in today's reality; how do you do that?

I think that's the entire struggle in a nut shell.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Yeah @StellaBlue i realized how dumb of a question that was as soon as i asked it lol.

 

[Ronin]

Layman's terms?

Apologies.

What I've meant is if I have something present to get through, of similar type of situations as solved before, that nobody else can sort for me? I have to rely on myself and that my reasoning works. Which wouldn't happen if I doubt everything I've ever thought as real and mattering for situation at hand.

So crises in that are good, because they prompt me to believe in my experience & reasoning through it, instead of doubt & self doubt.