Do You Think It's Better To Open A Topic Here Or In Therapy?

[Cool Cat]

Just a question.

I guess sometimes I've had 'out of therapy' breakthroughs when posting here, that could have been better used if they happened during a session.

Or brought up a topic here, talked through it, then in therapy all the emotional bang from the topic is gone.

But I don't know, what do you think?

 

[Suzetig]

I find it depends on what it is, it can be helpful for me to check out something before I take it to therapy, to clarify my thinking on it, get support, other people's views etc. Other times I'll take stuff to espy and then check it out or process further here - what have you found helpful so far, I'm not sure there's a "right" or a "wrong" with this kind of stuff.

 

[desiderata310]

I do both. Bringing it up here and working through it? well, there are advantages in that. Not being so damned dependent on the therapist for all the support being one. Being able to have talked through it and then still explore other parts of it are another. And finally Just being able to not have to spend time on something in session. Life doesn't work that way. Things sometimes gnaw at me between sessions.

Right now I have a topic that is just KILLING me. It's eating me whole. My options? Call/write/text my therapist and make an utter nusance of myself or try to find other ways to cope. I don't have a real support system so this is it (sorry folks) besides, maybe it'll help someone else or spark another epiphany.

 

[sun seeker]

I'd say both, as long as it's working for you. What do you feel would be better about breakthroughs if they happened with your therapist? Could you get the same thing by sharing the breakthroughs with him/her afterwards?

I know for me, if I saved all my processing for an hour once a week or less, I'd be far behind where I am now. There's no way it's enough. Also the therapist's office isn't really where I do most of my processing anyway, that's hard to do in an office where I don't feel free to make noise.

I feel so appreciative of you guys for all your support.

 

[Cool Cat]

Thanks guys @desiderata310 @sun seeker I guess the thing with breakthroughs is I so seldom have times when I am spontaneously emotional. So when I have them out of therapy I suppress them, which is bad.

I
I know for me, if I saved all my processing for an hour once a week or less, I'd be far behind where I am now.

I think I agree with you too, I posted here the whole way through my crisis and thanks to the support it really got me through it quicker. I guess it's when you get into the more deeper post-crisis work, do the same tactics apply is what I wonder.

 

[SeaQuel]

@Cool Cat Just wondering - do you feel a need to bring your therapist up to speed on your breakthroughs that occur outside of therapy? As in keep him/her current on everything?

I used to feel that way and still sometimes do; however, generally speaking, when I have breakthroughs outside of therapy, I try to write it down so that I can bring it up in therapy if it's something I still feel is important to discuss. Other times, those breakthroughs will get trumped by other issues once I'm sitting in front my therapist, and I really just try to go with the flow.

Even if it's sort of out of sequence, I think eventually everything comes to together. I definitely echo what others have said. I feel as though this forum is part of my therapy process. It's more than support, it's an international grassroots forum that allows for information sharing on new science/treatments, symptoms, and yes, support. I guess I view it as the Wikipedia resource for PTSD.

 

[Cool Cat]

Thanks @DancingBull I guess the other thing is wondering what are the pros and cons of bringing something up online versus in person. Like I was using online supports months before I ever even tried getting a shrink. I would sooner post a problem here than I would bring it up with a friend, therapist etc. And I guess while it is good that I do bring it up somewhere, I wonder though as training for life is it a good thing.

Like, I guess, in times when friends have confided in me rather than with people online, it brought us closer together, usually. I will admit, sometimes it does the complete opposite.

Do ye kinda get me?

For instance, another thing, when I was a kid I always rang the kid helplines for support. I needed them, and they were there for kids like me in distress. I couldn't get emotional support at home. But like because of how much I used them, I never really learned how to confide in someone that wasn't anonymous.

 

[Cool Cat]

I feel so appreciative of you guys for all your support.

I'm gonna echo this too, I learned that I am not a lesser person because of my traumas here.

 

[SeaQuel]

Yea I get it. I don't have a good answer on the pros/cons. I do think you will eventually need to get to a place where you can talk in-person about the issues, otherwise you won't know if you've really processed them, will you? Anonymity has its limits in trauma treatment IMO.

 

[reallydown]

I honestly don't know anymore. Let's face it, psychology isn't exactly a science, in the sense other sciences are so to be honest, I'm not sure that talking it out here, with people who understand is not better. I guess talking to a pro has its benefits...but even so they're human beings too and even if they are paid to listen etc. it doesn't guarantee that they will. It also depends on what you prefer. We've also been conditioned to believe that they have the answers, when in fact, even for them, much of it is guess work. Having said all that, if you think you'd feel more comfortable sharing etc in therapy, then by all means. But, I think sometimes at least, talking it out here can be just as effective. Just my two cents.

 

[Cool Cat]

@DancingBull @reallydown yeah I guess you are right, normal people do not understand like people who have 'been there'. And just want to see the self harm scars and hear about your most profound flashbacks or experiences. I guess I'm just looking for connection.

A T can't really give me the compassion I crave, and online can only go so far

 

[SeaQuel]

I think both (therapy and here) are good and valid. @reallydown I definitely agree that therapists don't have all the answers, but if you don't talk in-person to someone (therapist or otherwise) about the trauma, how will you know if you've processed it and it's no longer an issue for you? If we're just talking about who can "empathize" more, then it would have to be other people with PTSD.