Relationship Does Anyone Else Ever Feel….

[Wastinglight]

That must be such a hard place to be in. I haven't got far enough into my relationship to actually ask anything major of my guy (but I feel like I've given a helluvalot so far!), but I can imagine how much that must hurt you that your man doesn't seem willing to be there for you.

 

[Glara]

@Thunderstorm, hope you son is doing better. I'm sorry that D isn't there for you when you need him. I recently read a good book, "Stay or Go" that offers advice on how to make the decision to leave a ptsd relationship. I mention it because you said it was cut and dry and I don't know that it is with ptsd. The book basically just lists questions you should ask yourself when trying to decide. I hope it gets better for you soon, either way.

 

[LizardViolet]

Being in a relationship with a PTSD sufferer is a huge challenge, no question. Mood swings, anger, trust issues. When he's upset with me, he knows just the thing to do or say that will hurt the most. And I can't be angry at him or criticize him. It feels sometimes like parenting, the way a child will test the limits of the rules and test the limits of your love. He takes stuff out on me perhaps because if he takes it out on anyone else, that person would abandon him, and I won't.

 

[Blue Survivor]

Has anyone ever heard that Tori Amos song "China"? I swear it was written for someone with PTSD....

Yes, yes it certainly does sound as if it was written for someone with PTSD.

 

[ARH10]

Everyone has captured my feelings so well! It is a constant battle between what it is real and what is not. It is one thing to hear the words "I love you" and very different to feel them. I can remember back when I felt deep love from him truly into my core and now it is as if we exist in the same space just out of habit. He has been in such a dark place lately. He is not participating in anything and his response whether I bring something up during, before or after an incident is always "I don't care" on a wide spectrum of super nasty to just rude. After a couple years of this I am finding it hard to find patience and resilience.

 

[Deleted member 27524]

Well my situation is only worsening. The night my son was sick and I just needed to talk to D and he wasn't there I was just upset. Now we're 5 hours apart so I don't expect him to just run here but I just needed to talk to him I guess. I was prolly a little emotional and I left him a message late that night that said "Your never there when I need you the most and you never will be"....This was on Friday night and I found out Sunday that he drove 5 hours here only to turn around 10 minutes before he got to my house...OMG! He never said he was coming or nothing and he didn't tell me this until Sunday. I know D very well and he's never lied to me even when I wish sometimes he would but he doesn't! Why or what would've made him drive that far to me and then just turn around in the home stretch? "I want you Amanda" "You make me happy Amanda" "I need you Amanda" "I wanna be with you Amanda more than anything", but he just turns around? I dunno what to think. That is such a long drive to just turn around. My head is spinning!

 

[JM318]

After just feeling so unimportant and so neglected for awhile my sufferer is pulling me back in har...

Well you hit that right on the button.

I like to think those good times show who he really is and that's what makes me stay. Its been 2 weeks since his breakdown and I wonder how long this time will last..... :/