Does Therapy Ever Get Better? I'm Feeling Hopeless.

[PTSD Warrior]

Hi everyone!

This is my first post so please bear with me. I'm 21 and in college and started seeing my therapist roughly 2 months ago. This past Monday we delved into a topic that was really painful for me about my childhood trama. We discussed things and I felt 1.) relieved to actually stop holding it in but secondly thought I had processed it.

Well the next day I felt awesome the best I've ever felt in a long, long time and thought I had an epiphany, boy was I wrong. By today (Thursday) all my emotions have been all over the place. I've been having flashbacks and feeling things I had suppressed for many years. I've been upset and crying all day.

I even missed my genetics class today due to these feelings. The feelings and emotions have been so powerful that I don't want to continue therapy because trying to deal with all of this, school and on top of my other anxieties has left my studies on the back burner. I stated therapy because I wanted to get better and be able to move forward in my life and try and trust people again.

But all the emotions that therapy brings up mentally takes up so much of my time trying to process, I can't even concentrate on studying. I need advice... Does it get easier to deal with painful things in therapy over time? Should I quit therapy? I really like my psychologist he's amazing and works with me so well.

I'm just concerned because my studies are really important for my career goals and at this point I'm having a hard time balancing my classes and trying to progress forward in therapy.

 

[Lucycat]

Yes it does get better! When you start therapy it gets better before it gets worse. 2 months is no time at all. Go with it and keep up the hard work. The fact that you initially felt better shows it is helping.

Please don't give up!

I have been 'in therapy' for 4 years and the improvement in my life is tremendous. Please don't be despondent. It is not easy but it really is worth the effort.

You will read on here about people that have been in therapy for 10, 20, 30 years. But we are not all like that. I had huge improvement after the first year, and more improvement thereafter because I have chosen to continue. But I could quit therapy today and say it was really worthwhile.

Emotions are hard to deal with. But they need to be felt. Then we can progress. Keep up the hard work!

Best wishes,
Lucy x

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Should you quit therapy? I don't believe so. You've opened Pandora's box and you can't close it now. You can't go back, only forward. If you quit now, you will have to deal with it later.

You can always take a semester off and go back to school later. Plenty of us have done that. If this isn't an option, could you put therapy, err processing on hold for now? At only 2 months in I'd say you could probably use this semester to just learn coping skills without delving into the trauma.

It always gets worse before it gets better. Trauma therapy is hard work, but yes, things will get better over time as you heal, as long as you're dedicated to healing and work hard at it.

 

[PTSD Warrior]

Lucy,
Thank you for your kind words. They really do mean a lot to me. It's just hard for my cause for 21 years I denied myself the right to feel these emotions and now they are all coming out in full force. I do hope that even though its tough feeling these emotions now it will lead me to a happier life all around. Actually it's month 3 of therapy... Oops must of hit the wrong number on my iPad.

 

[WillyKat]

It can be a roller coaster. Just when you think you've made a huge step...wham! You have more to make.

Therapy is a lot like an exercise program, looking for a job, or losing weight, etc. It's a trek, not a dayhike. Please stick with it.

 

[PTSD Warrior]

Solara-

Thank you for the words of wisdom. I do agree that I did open Pandora's box and I'm now finding it hard to cope with everything. I think I'll email my therapist about what going on and ask about developing better coping strategies. I wish I could take a semester off but I only have a year left before I graduate. Plus I'm on scholarship. I don't want to put off therapy because I've done that my whole life and it was a really big step for me to even start going. Yeah, I've come to the realization that trauma therapy is gonna be harder than I expected but I want to get better, so it's worth it.

WillyKat-

"It can be a roller coaster. Just when you think you've made a huge step...wham! You have more to make."
Wow! I couldn't of said it better myself.
Thank you for the encouraging words! I really want stick with it, I think I'll use your words as a reminder that there will be ups and downs and this process is more of a journey than race.

& Thank you to anybody else that comments kind words they are greatly appreciated even if I don't get the chance to respond back to you.

 

[Hopeful85]

Welcome! I can say I've been exactly where you are. It does get better. I'm still stuck in the whole process, but I know I am in a far better place than where I was 8 months ago. It's painful stuff and as you rip open that wound it's going to get worse (more painful) before it gets better. But stick with it!

 

[Chondra]

Thanks for posting Lucy. I wish I had the courage to post such a question when I started my trauma therapy.

I agree with Lucycat and Solara. I am commenting because of something you did not mention which has been very important to me during this type of therapy, it is proper closure at the end of the session. It helps contain some of the backwash of emotions that follow during the hours and days after the appointment.

I am not a therapist, so I can only share with you what I do as an example.

For me. it is a three step process. At the end of a difficult session but before I leave the office, I ground myself in the present moment (usually by focusing fully on some specific item in the room). Then I visualize myself carefully packing my trauma away inside a big box and place this box on a train and watch as the train slowly moves away and disappears on the horizon. I then imagine myself being in a very safe environment, usually an alpine meadow that only exists in my mind. I stay there until the peace and security of this place permeates and fills me.

Some people do not need such specific closure, every one is different. Go with whatever works for you.

Hmm, might as well say that I also take breaks. I stop after a few months to let things settle back down. I think the business term for this is to consolidate your gains.

This work is difficult but rewarding. Just go at your own pace.

 

[Recovery Girl]

Hello fellow PTSD Warrior,,,,,,! Just remember that you are amazing! We are not responsible for what happened,,,but we are responsible for healing.
Chondra,,,that is wonderful advice. I love doing rituals like that. They helped me a lot when I was in the thick of it. Also,,,I bought myself a very soft teddy bear to cuddle. I could carry it in my pocketbook so I could always get a little grounding! I went through a phase where I spent a lot of time in the toy department. It was so good for me to pamper and reward that little girl who went through all the trauma. Hugs!

 

[EvenStrongerNow]

Welcome PTSD Warrior! A warrior you are!!

I could've written your post myself. You described the process of therapy perfectly. Like others said, yes, it does get better.

 

[katiekat]

I am right here with you. I have been in therapy for 6 months, initially for help in my career and ADD, but 3 months ago it occurred to my therapist that I have PTSD.

This came as a shock to me as my trauma was ongoing during childhood and marginalized by society. It has taken me this long to trust my therapist enough and learn stabilization methods to get into the traumas, and all of the sudden without me trying I was thrown into the thick of my trauma therapy when a memory popped up last week that I had forgot.

Now I am feeling that rollercoaster that was mentioned earlier and also had serious thoughts about taking a break from therapy, but I realize this is an opportunity to heal and that I deserve to heal. And when it seems tough I get extra support from my therapist and go back to mindfulness meditations, making sure I eat healthy and exercise.

You're on the right track, if you feel like your rollercoaster is going to fly off the rails reach out to your therapist and talk about it. He will help you! Best of luck!

 

[Hashi]

Hi PTSD Warrior,

Welcome to the forum.

I agree with what everyone has said, and would like to emphasise what @Chondra said about containment. Ive found those kinds of rituals and visualisations make a huge difference.

Maybe you could also talk to your therapist about creating some joint rituals for this at the end of the session? Things that my therapist and I used to do at the end of a session are:

- My therapist would gently sum up what we talked about and I would add anything that she missed out that I thought was significant. Kind of like gathering it all together.

- We'd talk about what to do with all that over the following week. We created an imaginary "healing room" that she looked after. I could put things in the healing room and know that they were in a safe, healing place away from me.

- Then we'd spend the last few minutes talking about something more positive, like what I like about my best friend, a good memory, or art (I love art).

The rest of the week was still difficult, but I kept doing things for containment, coping and preventing symptoms - especially visualisation, grounding, and relaxation exercises like deep breathing.

I do think you have to consider how much you want to delve into things if you're trying to achieve something big in life outside therapy. It's possible to take times where you acknowledge the trauma you've experienced but rather than actively working on it you work on coping and more general life issues. I've always alternated between those two things in therapy anyway.