Done

[WAgirl]

All I can think of is how I'm going to end it. All day, the same thing. I'm trying to so hard to work with my new therapist but I just don't know if I can do it anymore. I've been doing this for almost a year and I just don't know if I have any gas left in the tank. I'm trying the breathing etc. but I'm just not getting it. I'm sorry, this is just the only place I have where I think I can be completely honest.

 

[ILoveLife]

It always gets worse before it gets better, hang in there :hug: this too shall pass.

 

[Tinyflame]

I think some of the best advice I got, was actually to put down my burdens, to rest. To talk, yes, but not 'try' to solve it. It's right to say the tank feels empty, and sometimes the best trying is to stop.

Hang in there. :hug:

 

[digger]

this is just the only place I have where I think I can be completely honest.

Hi @WAgirl, I'm sorry you're finding things so hard right now. A lot of us here live with chronic suicidal ideation, so yes, it can be a good place to sound some of that out and work through it, or just be amongst people who get it.

If you are actively planning though, or worried that you may act on your thoughts, you very much need to reach out to someone in the 'real' world for help.

I'm trying to so hard to work with my new therapist

I'm trying the breathing etc. but I'm just not getting it

How long have you been seeing this new therapist? Is the breathing something they've asked you to try?

 

[WAgirl]

I've seen her twice. She's been working with me on breathing. I wish I knew what I was doing, Im sorry.

 

[digger]

I've seen her twice. She's been working with me on breathing. I wish I knew what I was doing, Im sorry.[...

Twice is really a very new relationship. Try to cut yourself some slack over that if you think you should have made more progress. If it helps I find breathing exercises virtually impossible - they often have the opposite effect on me than intended. Have you been able to share with her how hard you're finding them?

 

[EveHarrington]

Keep going to therapy! It takes time to learn coping skills.

I’m still learning how to breathe, 10+ years in. My guy notices my breathing and says to take deep breaths....the benefits of dating a former EMT!

 

[bellbird]

I've been there too, @WAgirl . Thank you for reaching out to us.

I just don't know if I can do it anymore

The best advice I got during my recent inpatient stay was from my supervisor on one of his visits. He said to me: "it might be hard, but that doesn't mean you can't do it".

You aren't alone in this. This community is behind you, and there are resources in the 'real' world; your therapist and other services as @digger alluded to, that will support you too.

If you are actively planning suicide, would you consider having a stay as an inpatient at an acute mental health facility? I was terrified at the prospect of my stay, but I'm so glad that I did it. They made sure that I was safe and I didn't have to worry about cooking or making sure I was taking my meds. It took a lot of the stress away during my lowest points.

 

[WAgirl]

I'm just trying to hold on right now. It's a struggle.

 

[EveHarrington]

If you can’t keep yourself safe, please go inpatient!

I got out of inpatient two weeks ago and just finished PHP as a step down.

I’m lucky to have a private psych hospital only 15 minutes away. Do you know of any private psych hospitals near you?

 

[WAgirl]

I don't and honestly I'm terrified of the idea of the hospital.

 

[digger]

@WAgirl do you think you might be able to share with your therapist how much of a struggle things are for you right now? When do you next see her?