Dropping Out Of Everything

[Deleted member 34328]

This sounds a little like what my therapist said to me last week - after I arrived, slumped down on th...

That is what I meant. Sometimes we all get to a point when our brains are so fried we just can't face another day. At least it feels like that. My therapist encouraged me last night to try to verbalize by email, talk... whatever and to whomever "gets it". @recoveringfromptsd I think you're identifying with this. Another couple of days have gone by and you made it. Felt like the pit of hell, but here you are. I was told just yesterday that when I become too overwhelmed by everything, try to verbalize it...well here I am.

I can't even begin to process it all, so why should I? I need to sleep, so I do. I need a hot drink, I go get one. The last thing I need is to push myself into heavy homework and jobs. I just can't do it. I need to pay attention to my limitations and do only what helps me to be me. That's what I mean by therapy bedrest.

I really think you would benefit from it as well. Doesn't make the imagery go away, but you don't have to focus on the things you NEED to be doing.

Does that make sense?

 

[recoveringfromptsd]

too overwhelmed by everything, try to verbalize it

I did, I have been very very vocal all along, even with mobile crisis, I am brutally honest about what I feel, and any S/H or S/I. And they have the authority to paper me. If I was not honest the would have already forced me into the hospital but because I am brutally honest about such stuff they trust that if I feel like I am at a point where I am in imminent danger of s/h or suicide that I will call them and get hospitalized.

when our brains are so fried we just can't face another day. At least it feels like that.

That's how I feel for sure, this has elements so close to what happened in 1977-78 that its put me to where I was months ago. I had just started getting some distance in between the times when I would have to deal with intrusive images and thoughts from back then. I was just starting to get de-sensitized emotionally from the abuse at the same time working on the abuse in therapy.

Another couple of days have gone by and you made it. Felt like the pit of hell

@stp2012 Yes, I have but several incidents that were cause to being hospitalized involuntarily, so I am on the edge of the fence as some would say it. And Mobile Crisis got involved because if I did not call them myself, my therapist was going to send the sheriff over to check on me. And that's a big deal with a lot of drama, they don't just send one car, and they don't just send police they send ems too as they have to do the evaluation, unless mobile crisis does it.

As I think I said earlier I spoke with mobile crisis the other day, and felt that if nothing was done, I would end up in the hospital over S/H anyway. But the hospital won't help me much other that keep me safe. That PHP would be more practical, as it gives the monitoring of my daily thinking, it gives me intensive DBT material which serves to distract me from my thinking, and it allows me to be at home to care for things there.

In PHP I would start with three goals:

1) Participate and Learn
2) Distract using the materials
3) Try to Stay grounded and in the moment.

 

[Deleted member 34328]

It seems to me that you've done a lot of legwork and understand the system quite well. - even if it sucks (for lack of a better word). I'm glad you have a plan and seem to be aware of your needs.

It's beyond frustrating when you reach out exactly as you should and then aren't received. This is a living hell for you. I have no doubt of that. I really hope you do get what you need. Try to stay on your feet. I know it's asking a lot, but it's so important.

Good for you to have a plan in place.

Be safe.

 

[recoveringfromptsd]

I will, and there is mobile crisis making sure I am (they just called 2 minutes ago to check on me)

 

[eloc]

Hang in there I have opted out of welfare because of the constant battles with a system that does not fully understand nor appreciate my conditions- as a result I have no income and live off my spuse and extended family. I have zero access to care and so rely on hypnosis Mp3s, EMDR mp3s and swimming ( hypnosis induced exercise) . In this way I have avoided the activation of bureacracy and am the best I have ever been ( of course not financially). Engaging with Bs is so harmful - walking away/isolating and routine is why I am here today. Whatever works for you is the way to go. I find also being made helpless victims of systems is what keeps usin activated freeze responses and taking whatever power you have back is another way to deal with it. Whatever works for you stay strong and hang in there.