haunted4ever
New Here
Been dealing with PTSD and flashbacks for nearly 2 yrs. Always knew I had been drugged a long time ago; bartender told me I was a platonic friend's "birthday present" about 30 seconds before my first blackout. I had only had 1 and a half drinks. I didn't know the drugs could wipe out your memory. All I remembered was a man kissing me, and a couple of men pushing on my chest. This was before ER's even knew how to test for drugs. Can't file a police report over a stolen kiss, and for to strangers pushing on you. My flashbacks have provided a lot of info: I know there were 12 men there. I remember 6 on me. The first man to go after me screamed "Who the F*** do you think you are not giving him any? . . . Do you think you're somebody F'ing special you don't have to have sex?" (I had refused to have sex/service one the the men present, on a previous date. I lost my virginity that night.) A couple of the men I knew. The rest were strangers. Contacted a lawyer, and found that there is no statute of limitations. Contemplating hiring a private investigator to tract down the bartender as a witness before I file. All of this is complicated by the fact that 2 of the men have LOTS of friends in the local Police Dept. My husband triggered my flashbacks when he told me that the main offender told him that:"You shouldn't date her. I did." I NEVER went out with that man. I was scared of him. I did meet him once, and he made it VERY clear what he wanted. He was CREEPY.
Been in counseling, but still am at the point of not feeling much of anything, increasing distance from family, severe marriage problems, etc. I bristle at the concept of forgiveness. They deserve to burn in h*ll. I have forgiven lots of people in my life, including a psycho who threatened to slit my throat.
I just feel like it will never end, and that I am all alone.
Been in counseling, but still am at the point of not feeling much of anything, increasing distance from family, severe marriage problems, etc. I bristle at the concept of forgiveness. They deserve to burn in h*ll. I have forgiven lots of people in my life, including a psycho who threatened to slit my throat.
I just feel like it will never end, and that I am all alone.
