General Embarrassed To Ask...

[Toria]

I think everyone has their own level of comfort with these things, and personally I think mine has been lowered, not because of abuse, but because it is a constant bombardment of comments, and other things.

He hit an all time low the other day after I came in from walking the dog and we'd come across an elderly lady who'd been hit by a car on the bypass. The ambulance was there so I didn't have to do anything, but then the air ambulance came in to land so it was obviously serious and it quite shook me up. I told Husband what I'd seen and asked him for a hug - instead of a nice comforting hug he tweaked my you-know-whats, hugged me and whispered "su** me" in my ear. Yeah - really comforting. I walked out of the room and left him to think it through...

Ok - see you all in a few weeks time *double blush*

 

[KP the nut]

(((Toria))), I am sorry. Is it possible to ask him why he said that and tell him how it made you feel and that it is unacceptable behaviour. Not an easy conversation, it is easy for me to write but I hate any kind of confrontation.

The *double blush* should be him, you have nothing to blush about.

 

[freakofnurture]

Toria, have you asked him if that's his way of confessing his affection? Cause I think Albatross might be on to something here. Maybe he really just doesn't understand how crude his way of communication looks to you :)

 

[ronnalee]

Here's my viewpoint My husband was inappropriate with me verbally in private then in public and then with our circle of friends for two years before he was diagnosed. After the diagnosis, with the VA treating him, he remained the same. I came across two words that describe him to me: invincibly ignorant. I was aware in myself how uncomfortable I was.

He has been and still is behaving badly.

I watch his body language and I attempt to be aware of mine too. It's not a pretty sight.

 

[Eleanor]

Toria, FWIW I think that's kind of creepy:cautious:. Could you tell him how you felt about that response, and ask him to do what YOU want then next time there is a situation like this?

 

[Barberian]

[confidential] My wife has her medical issues. We haven't made love, have sex, had intimate contact in just about 3 years now. I still try to let her know i think about her and still find her attractive and desireable. Reading this thread, I have seen things that I have done. I try to not be an ass about it, but I have still grabbed, groped, said the inuendos, walked up to her nude and aroused (I'm a nudist) and made coments. I never did it to embarase her, or make her uncomfortable. I did it to let her know I'm still thinking about her and find her beautiful and desirable. I don't expect sex or intimacy, I just want to show I'm still interested in her.

One thing I've seen in a lot of relationships is when the man no longer shows interest, it's because he's found a new person to validate him and his desires (wink wink). Even though I don't expect any kind of sex, I will still remain faithful to my wife. I think once she's not mad at me for someting else I posted in the combat PTSD forum, I'm going to have a sit down talk about things with her. Try to "clear the air" and make sure I'm not invalidating her when I try to show her I still care about her.

Thank you for this thread and all the posts. It gives me something to think about.