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You are struggling because you are unearthing stuff you have buried for a long time. It's scary to do that Disconnect. The closer you get the harder it gets.....the good news is, on the stuff you already have processed....those won't hit you so hard anymore ;o) The stuff that is hard today will be easier and hopefully laid to rest tomorrow. Keep forging ahead Disconnect, take a break when you or your T think you should. I think we all need breathers, time to absorbed the hard things that have exhausted us. It's all part of the process, including the breaks ;o)